Left of the Middle
by Hana no Ceres
Summary: *Completed* It seems that the only reason Ryou takes the pain is because Bakura likes it- but what are Bakura's real intentions? (Lemon/lime- IT'S LIGHT!) R/B
1. Torn

I read a fic a while ago using all the lyrics from a CD- so I decided that for my first story on fanfiction.net, I'd try somethin' similar. ^_^. I'm a copy-cat I know- but I thought it was a good idea!  
  
Anyway- I've had Natilie Imbruglia's CD "Left of the Middle" for a long time now, and well- it's not an absolute favorite, but it certainly has good songs. Granted, Natilie was never given the credit she deserved, but that's another topic. I decided that this would probably be a good way to see the response to any fan fics I write considering I never get any response from people who visit my website (oh yey! Over a thousand! ^_^. arigatou gozaimasu!)- so I'm just using this as a forum for my work- BEFORE I post it on my site.  
  
Ryou and Bakura have actually always sorta fascinated me- whether or not that's because they both fit the qualities of a good drama- or because I just really have a thing for two-faced frail- mentally unstable anime characters. ^_^. Either way- I just thought that maybe I should write a fic for them.  
  
AND I DEDICATE THIS STORY TO ME! (yes- I know I'm so vain in that comment, but still, I never really do anything just for ME- so this seemed good enough. I wrote it after all!)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!- I know I love my Ryou-chan and Bakura- san to death (well.), but I don't own the series and I'm not at all claiming I did. I also don't own the lyric's to Natilie Imbruglia's song "Torn"- they were just sorta. there. ^_^. 

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*.*: song lyrics '.': thoughts

  
Left of the Middle: Torn  
  
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*I thought I saw a man brought to life-  
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified;  
He showed me what it was to cry*

His deep colored eyes were hazing- he could feel the pain sliding up his back and he could do nothing to stop it. It was almost hypnotic how the intoxication paralyzed his body for the second it reached the back of the teenager's neck. Ryou quivered, his body falling limp onto the carpeted floor.  
  
"Get up, weakling!" A booming voice was hurting his ears, but Ryou was used to it. He was in a trance, the tones of Bakura's voice droning out one after another. "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?" He was louder; the limp man could feel the cold eyes of his yami piercing into him from above.  
  
'What have I done wrong this time?' Ryou pushed himself onto all fours, a foot jabbing under his ribs. He was taking it calmly- another beating that he had expected. 'Oh yeah. I left my books on the coffee table.' He bit his tongue as Bakura pulled the young man up by his silver locks- he was all ready crying.  
  
"Oh keep crying, you girl!" The angry man spat at Ryou's face, flinging him to the ground once again with a quick pull of his hair. Bakura then just simply turned and walked from the living room, a crying teenager left alone on the ground, hugging himself.  
  
'Why.' He looked up at where Bakura had stood, reaching out to touch something that wasn't there. 'Why do you have to be so mad at me.' Ryou closed his chocolate-colored eyes, a rush of all past memories with Bakura flashing in his mind. The yami had ALWAYS been that way towards him, and even a slight show of kindness was always stripped away with another beating. But Ryou kept clinging. Sliding his body blindly against the nearest wall, the young man sealed his soul room, leaving himself dreaming of everything that he'd ever craved: Bakura.  
  
Since the first day- he'd always wanted a connection. Even through the pain- and the frustration- and the sadness- Ryou constantly wished for a crack in the wall that was his yami- just so he could possibly shine his own light in. Alone in his soul room he could imagine arms fingers entwining with his- a body pressed up to his- a tender kiss upon his lips. But that's what it was: a dream. Ryou could only ever have that dream in his soul room, and every day he grew more and more lonely.  
  
The others had started to see bruises; Ryou had to be alone. If he didn't pull away from them, who knows what they would want to do to Bakura? HE would skin THEM alive- and the young man wanted to prevent any confrontation the best he could.  
  
Picking up his body from the floor, he slowly made his way along the corridors of his home- almost vacant except Bakura and himself. There weren't even echoes of a happy childhood clinging to the walls and furniture. Images of a depressed and lonely child were the only comforts the house could provide. Ryou had been alone all his life- mother dead, father gone- the only real person in his life was Bakura. And even he hated Ryou.  
  
Their meeting proved that there was never to be anything between them. A painful meeting. yet Ryou always kept his chin up- things would work out, right? Bakura would soften, right? Ryou kept these hopes only to himself- a deep feeling in his heart were the only remnants he even allowed himself to believe.  
  
But every day, punches flew, tears fell, the heart that was Ryou's was slowly being bruised. Maybe it would never work? What if it was only his illusion? A dream that can never be reached? Self doubt plagued him constantly- and the doubt was only manifested in his own self torture and agony.  
  


*Well you couldn't be that man I adored,  
You don't seem to know- or seem to care  
What your heart is for.  
I don't know him anymore*  
  
He sat starring at the wall, hands sitting limply on his bed. Tears were silently streaming down his cheeks, Ryou didn't even make a motion to try and wipe them away.  
  
'He hates me. he hates me. he hates me.' The words kept somehow repeating in his mind- was Bakura saying them to him on purpose? No- his soul room was always sealed. Never had he allowed a connection between the two.  
  
A silver light poured in from the open window- a full moon lighting the sky in pure light. The sound of a distant bird finally broke his stream of depression; Ryou stood, walking to the window and looking out.  
  
'Why can't it be like the night sky.?' The teenager's eyes closed, the chilling night time air filling his lungs with every breath; he felt somehow calm in it's presence. 'Yami and hikari- like the sky.'  
  
But Ryou could feel his hopes were futile. 'Yami and hikari?' He frowned at his own thoughts, about to laugh at himself. 'This is so stupid.' He turned from the open window, leaning against the wall, finally letting a smile play onto his lips. 'Why would Bakura ever let anything like that happen? The two of us finally having peace? Finally.together.'  
  
The young man shook his head, trying to pull his attention away from the other male. Ryou went to his desk, looking over his school books- a library book sitting on the desk chair. History of Ancient Egypt. His eyebrows contorted as he took the thick book, sliding it under his bed. He had to forget- at least until he was in the presence of his yami once again.  


  
*There's nothin' where he used to lie-  
My conversation has run dry  
That's what's goin' on.  
Nothin's fine- I'm torn*  
  
Ryou's eraser top touched his lips lightly- eyes gazing over the book in front of him. 'The Russo-Japanese war was fought.' An opening door made him look up. 'Hmph?' He stood from his desk, stretching his slender body; he'd been studying for hours.  
  
Moving to the closed door of his room, he opened it, peering out into the hall, listening. There was no sound. 'He went out again.' The thought seemed inevitable. What else did Bakura do with his time? He stayed at home all day watching television, waiting for Ryou to get home and cook for him. The young man sighed, walking down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen. He checked the refrigerator, pulling out a vanilla coke, then making his way back to his room. Who knows how long Bakura would stay out. Sometimes hours- sometimes days. Ryou seemed used to that as well. If he didn't receive a daily beating, it would be made up for once his yami returned.  
  
For what seemed like another hour, Ryou sat at his desk, sipping at his coke and reading for his history class- and when Bakura came home, all concentration was broken.  
  
"Oh, Bakura- such a naughty boy!" The sound of a woman's giggly voice drifted up the stairs and through the door to Ryou's room.  
  
"Ha." The yami laughed lightly- his voice sounded amused.  
  
"Come here, baby." Ryou could instantly recognize the voice: Tea. Ryou leaned forward, fingers gripping at his hair, frustration coursing through him.  
  
'Why did he have to bring HER here?!' Ryou was shaking in sudden fury. He'd known for some time that the two had been sleeping with each other- but it had always been when Ryou was away or someplace else. The teenager was shaking in anger- then suddenly- he was shaking in pain.  
  
Beads of tears were streaming down his face- his chest hurt deeply. Her moaning was creeping up the stairs- stinging his ears.  
  
"Oh. Bakura. baby.. Harder.harder. oh.uh. yes! YES!" Tea's voice grew louder and louder, her disconnected words were trying to unlock Ryou's door of hidden jealousy.  
  
'Please. stop. stop.' Then out of nowhere- her moaning stopped.  
  
"What's the matter, baby?" Tea asked, she was breathing heavily.  
  
"I can't right now." Bakura sounded suddenly timid.  
  
"But you're ready right now!" The woman seemed like she was almost pleading.  
  
"Not now!" His voice was anger filled. Ryou's eyes widened. Now he was only listening to the woman moving downstairs, pulling clothes back on, and then the slam of a door as she left. The young man knew she would be back.  


  
*I'm all out of faith-  
This is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor.  
Illusion never changed into something real.  
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.  
You're a little late- I'm all ready torn*  
  
He slid into the steaming water, pale body starting to blush from the heat; Ryou had decided to take a bath after hearing it all. He didn't want to be a part of any of it- yet he only really wished that he could have been the one Bakura was making love with- instead of Tea.  
  
The young man closed his dark eyes, steam engulfing him. Silver locks of hair floated in the water around his body as he slid in deeper, water up to his shoulders. Was it all for the best? Maybe hearing them had been another one of Bakura's punishments. Either way, it was making Ryou hate himself even more. He'd probably done something to get Bakura mad again. as always.  
  
Opening one eye, the teenager reached out onto the floor outside the tub, taking a blade he used only for himself and inspected it. Feeling it was up to standard, he pulled his leg from the water and looked down to where his ankle was. No one ever checked there. Ever. There were lines across his ankles- scars from recent, scars that had healed over time.  
  
'Ah.' A lazy line of blood started to appear, it was soon bleeding freely from the pressure he'd applied. Ryou smiled to himself, looking up to the ceiling. He dropped the blade next to the tub, other hand reaching under the water, fingers wrapping around his length. Biting his bottom lip, he moaned inwardly, hand traveling under the water faster and faster.  
  
'This is the way I am, Bakura.' He closed his eyes once again. 'You give me pain like that. and I can only do this. it does this to me.' His wet locks slid from the water as he tilted his head back, breathing harder. 'Hmph. Bakura.' Ryou moaned lightly as he climaxed, licking his lips.  
  
The teenager felt defiant- but at the same time guilt started to surface. He looked into the water- blood mingled with seed- and tears suddenly followed. Ryou put his head in his hands, crying.  
  
'God. why.' He was shaking even in the heat of the water. 'Why do I have to be this way.?' It seemed that even with coping with knowing that the man he loved hated him, Ryou still had the uncertainty and pain of liking someone from the same sex. The pain only continued to stack against him.  


  
*So I guess the fortune teller's right.  
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light.  
But you crawled beneath my veins-  
And now- I don't care, I have no luck.*  
  
"Let's go to the game shop, Ryou-chan. My grandpa wants to see if you'll still duel him in a re-match like you promised." Yuugi was smiling as the entire group was walking back from school and through the streets of Domino.  
  
"Ah. a re-match?" Ryou smiled lightly, nodding. "Well- I would love to finally beat your grandpa and." His face turned from joy and happiness, to sudden doubt and confusion. The entire group noticed. "But I can't today, Yuugi. I'm sorry."  
  
"Wha-?" Joey asked, his mouth gaping. "But you never turn down a duel!" Ryou sighed.  
  
"I have to go home and make sure to cook something for Bakura." He looked down at the sidewalk- he could feel the surprised pairs of eyes on him.  
  
"Ya' cook for him?" Joey was looking at him in astonishment.  
  
"Well- of course. He's my yami after all. I have to make sure he's happy." Ryou spoke in a matter-of-fact voice, but deep down he wondered if that was the real reason he did anything for Bakura.  
  
"That's not a reason, Ryou." Yami Yuugi appeared out of nowhere standing next to Yuugi. The Millennium Puzzle.  
  
"I need to take care of him." Ryou was talking more to the pavement instead of to his friends.  
  
"And those bruises you have on yourself are a way of making sure he's happy?" Yami motioned to a new one on his arm. Ryou looked up at him in surprise- he was wearing a sweater.  
  
"A new one?!" Everyone said in unison, Yuugi taking Ryou's arm, pulling up the sweater sleeve- a purple and green bruise the size of a fist adorned his pale skin.  
  
"Damn it- why the hell don't you tell us about these things?!" Joey yelled out, Ryou pulling his arm away and covering his arm up again.  
  
"Yes, Ryou. This shouldn't be happening!" Yuugi was in complete outrage- a tinge of anger in his voice.  
  
"Well- whatever was the reason for the bruise, I bet Ryou deserved it!" Tea said out of nowhere, she had her arms crossed as if no one noticed her attitude. As everyone turned to argue with her, Ryou looked up at Yami who was watching him intently.  
  
'Does he know what I'm doing.?' Yami's look was of calculation. Maybe he did know- and just wanted Ryou to figure it out on his own.  


  
*I don't miss it all that much.  
There's just so many things- that I can't touch-  
I'm torn*  
  
As soon as he entered through the doorway, Ryou could sense the presence of his darker's anger- but he really had no fear. A punch across the face, a kick in the gut. The boy braced himself as he was abused and thrown against the back of the front door.  
  
"Where the FUCK have you been?!" Bakura's voice was filled with loathing. Ryou didn't respond, he only looked into Bakura's own deep eyes. For a second there seemed a tinge of sadness- but it was quickly dismissed as the young man was hit in the gut by a fast coming fist. "Don't you dare look me in the eye while at the same time acting like a wimp! Stand up and take it like a man!" Bakura punched him once again.  
  
'Stop, Bakura.' Ryou was whispering internally. He knew his yami couldn't hear him, but the words found a way to form in his mind. 'Stop, Bakura. can't you see this really hurts.?' The teenager fell to the ground, Bakura looking down at him.  
  
"So where the hell are your tears right now, baka?" The yami rolled his eyes as Ryou did as he asked- tears sliding down his cheeks silently.  
  
'I hope that made you happy.' His mind wasn't full of sarcasm- but in actual sincerity. He would do anything for him. Taking the pain like made to only made Ryou hope that Bakura was happy to abuse him- and wanting to feel the same as his yami, Ryou took the pain and tried to mix his own pleasure with it all. The young man even wanted that sort of connection to linger- even if it was only in his mind.  
  
*There's nothin' where he used to lie-  
My inspiration has run dry.  
That's what's goin' on-   
Nothin's right I'm torn*  
  
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I need reviews- I need reviews- I need reviews! I know. this section was AWEFULLY long- but I couldn't condense it too much! There was a lot of things I wanted to cover. Um. I'm not completely sure if I'll write another part- but just depending on what I hear.  
  
Um. if you can't get the hint, I don't like Tea. Her pep talks always make me shout at the screen. and. um- a really apologize for my grammar and stuff! I really hate doing that sorta thing. ^_^.


	2. One More Addiction

Ah! I hadn't expected such good responses so soon! (Considering my…. [cough] low self-esteem….)  Anyway- thank you all who sent me a review, I'm happy that you all liked "Torn"- now hopefully this next part meets your expectations. Oh! Which reminds me- the focus changes every other story- so hopefully no one gets confused…

Anyway- hope you like- post a review- I like CONSTRUCTIVE CRITIZISM! 

Disclaimer- read the first track!

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*…*: song lyrics    '…': thoughts

Left of the Middle: One more Addiction  
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*First the good news-  
It's gonna feel very nice…  
Then the bad news-  
You've gotta pay a heavy price… *  


His eyes focused on the gumble in front of him. He hated what he had just done- but Bakura would never admit it. As it was, he hated even admitting it to himself. But he couldn't stop- even if he tried and focused all his will. The abuse he poured over his hikari was unstoppable- if it were to disappear, it would lift its heavy burden and pain over the yami. But if it disappeared- his hikari would know once and for all what he really felt; Bakura would be willing to hide that at all costs.   


Bakura basically put out the face of pleasure from the pain Ryou presented- while meanwhile falling apart from the inside out. Not only was he hurting the one he loved physically- but even listening to the young man crying at night only proved the psychological damage as well.  


"And you call yourself my hikari." Bakura talked with a harsh tone in his voice, looking down at Ryou who was sniffling, trying to wipe his tears away with at least a shred of dignity. His dark eyes watched the younger man as he pulled his knees up to his chest, shivering- his eyes brimming with liquid pain.  


'Gomen nasai…' The man turned on his heel, going into the hall; fist clinching at his own hatred. Although he was managing to put up his most important front- and it seemed to be working perfectly- Bakura knew that the one he held dearest was in pain. His knuckles turned white as he walked up the stairs, going to his room, the door softly shutting behind him. The yami hated himself for all of it. He'd probably even kill the man he loved in order to keep his feelings a secret.  


*Rip tide, we slide, we ride on a deep forbidden sea.  
Under we go- so slow,  
And you're hanging onto me  
And I say- *  


It seemed that his knees gave out, his body landing carelessly on the floor. Bakura was shaking still from what he'd done; his ears could sense the turning on of the sink in the bathroom, the wincing in pain as Ryou tried to clean his fresh wounds.   


'Gomen, Ryou… gomen…' The man was laying in the fetus position, apologizing repeatedly in his mind. It seemed like every single moment he wanted to open up the door to his soul room, plead and beg at the door of his hikari's- but every time he always managed to stop himself. Why was it so hard to just go ahead and say something? Why did the yami even love the young man so much? His hikari was weak- too kind- too gentle for his own good. All Bakura wanted to do was somehow mold him into a stronger person. Bakura felt as if maybe he could make his imprint long lasting like a true person- he could salvage the young man as he deserved.    


The yami needed to breathe. Standing, he ran his fingers swiftly through his silver hair, shaking his body- trying to calm it into the normal coolness he tried to constantly hold himself in. He sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. 'Ra… help me through this…'  


*Oh oh… one more addiction in my world…   
One more connection to let go…  
Oh floating down the river-  
Out of sight forever (from my world)-  
It's the only thing I know how to do… *  


His feet fell soundlessly on the wooden floor as Bakura walked through the hall to the stairs. The open bathroom door made looking inside irresistible- and his chocolate eyes almost cried from what he saw. Ryou was bleeding uncontrollably from his forehead; blood stained his pale skin and right shoulder as it slid down his body. Yet the boy was silent- Bakura could tell that the task of cleaning it all up was now viewed as a daily chore and unavoidable on Ryou's part.   


Sighing inwardly, Bakura produced a look of loathing on his face, looking down at his hikari. "Ha- you look like shit." Ryou looked up- a blank expression in his features, then eyebrows contorted in a hurt way and he looked back down; Bakura shoved his hands back into his pockets, leaving the house in his own hatred.  


Walking through the evening hours of Domino might soothe his soul- the yami hoped desperately it would. His light colored hair swayed in the light breeze- thinking of all that could possibly be different had he never laid a finger on Ryou in he first place. Had he never hit the young man at their first meeting, the connection would have never had started with mistrust.   


But that was Bakura's biggest problem- at least in his mind. He didn't trust the situation. He didn't trust his feelings, they might betray even him. He didn't trust the longing for a possible comfort he never had when he was a child. Mother dead; father always drunk and wanting someone to employ his anger upon. All he'd ever had was himself and his mentality of solitude and trusting one's own devises and that alone. The man had molded himself into a hard image and he had to uphold that for his own inner security.   


The look on Ryou's face though, was killing him. Why did he have to be so hard on the hikari? He was only being a normal person… a kind one at that. Being home late even a few minutes seemed reason enough to beat him, now-a-days… and even Bakura knew that it was getting harder to hide the cuts and bruises. The thought to hold back was urging him to stop, yet punches flew constantly and during the act he felt secure.   


Bakura was hiding his own pain for even laying a hurtful finger on Ryou- and the pain of seeing himself hurt the man he loved. His body stopped as he looked around him, the surroundings playing tricks with his eyes.   


"You're hopeless." A voice said behind him, and as Bakura turned, he frowned. Malik with his arms crossed, a smirk playing on his lips.   


"What do you want?" Arrogance spoke up this time.   


"The only time I ever really see you out this time of night is after you've done something to Ryou and have Tea in mind." He casually stepped up next to him, facing the horizon. The sun was setting and streaks of gold were tingeing the red and purple sky.   


"Shut the hell up…" Bakura faced the sunset as well, warmth filling his lungs as he breathed deeply. "I don't want Tea."  


"You'd be surprised how SHE certainly thinks so… " Malik sighed, looking down. "…and how she acts around Ryou when you're not around. She tries to rub it in."  


"Figures…"   


"Then why the hell did you sleep with her in her in the first place. Now she's always got an attitude about Ryou!"  


"Why should you even be concerned about Ryou?" Bakura's dark eyes shifted to he man next to him who had a thoughtful look on his face.  


"Why shouldn't I be?" Bakura turned and faced him. "You don't watch him all the time- so I just make sure to keep an eye out for what happens in his life." Malik shrugged nonchalantly, the yami's eyes narrowing. "He's been doing worse at school now. Everyone is noticing more scars. Yami is getting concerned." Bakura frowned, looking out at the setting sun again.   


"You think I give a damn about the pharaoh?"  


"I know YOU don't, but it matters to Ryou. If Yami steps in, he'll do whatever he can to stop you from hitting him anymore."  


"Oh please…"  


"Bakura- I know you don't want to stop hitting him, but the least you could do is stop hurting him that bad."  


"Hmph…"  


*I reject you- but I can't follow through…  
I'd forget you, but you'd end up tappin' on my back door.  
Somewhere I lost myself in a tunnel long and black…  
Somewhere, at the end, I pretend  
There's a way of turning back*  


"Oh Bakura- I'm so glad you came over tonight. I was starting to think you wouldn't…" Tea held onto his arm tightly as the two walked through the dark streets.   


"Why wouldn't I pick you up?" Bakura was talking in a distracted tone- he really hadn't wanted to see her that night. But Malik was right- whenever he left at during the evening, he always looked for the same woman.  


"Ah… because of what happened the other night… I thought I had done something wrong again. You've been doing that a lot lately. You're getting me worried." Tea rested her head on his shoulder, the lights from nearby buildings reflecting on her face.   


"Don't worry about me." Bakura growled out.  


"Fine, baby." The two where now stepping up to a hotel, through the doors, to the counter. The entire place seemed cold to him. Tea had always insisted on nice places- even if they only stayed in bed for only an hour or two. The marble floor was clean and shinny underneath the two- and as Bakura looked down into his reflection, a feeling of resentment arose. Why the hell did he even sleep with Tea? She was attractive in features- but in everything else, she lacked any quality. She wasn't even that pleasing whenever hey slept together.  


 The exchange of money and key card was quick and easy; the manager knew who the two where, and knew that they wouldn't be there the entire evening. The couple walked to the nearby elevator, the doors closing in front of the two only made Bakura unsure of himself. Tea was pressed up against him, kissing his neck as the man stared at his reflection in the elevator's silver doors. Her lips upon his skin almost felt like cuts on his skin. They weren't the same- they weren't from HIM.  


As the two stepped into their room, Tea started to undress. She looked pathetic in his eyes; always rushing things with no consideration of gentleness and any sort of finesse that made her a female. It seemed that the only thing she wanted was sex- and it showed in how rough she tried to be.  But Bakura tried to always ignore her shallow-ness- after all, he was getting free sex. It would only serve his needs physically, but emotionally he wanted only one lover: Ryou.   


Pushing her onto the bed of expensive linens, Tea started to unbutton his shirt. Her fingers were quick and nimble as he began to softly kiss her neck. It seemed that the only way he could truly imagine himself happy in the situation was if he imagined his hikari. And so he did. Instead of her incapable hands, there were hands of milk-white skin that unbuttoned his shirt slowly, leaning into the kisses of Bakura's lips. Instead of a voice that only demanded pleasure, there was a soft voice that was crying silently for genuine love. And every time it made him finally feel pleasure. Instead of Tea- it was Ryou- and Ryou wanted to be loved more and more.   


Tea rolled on top of him, starting to rock gently on his firm body, hands steadying herself on his shoulders. But Bakura hated it all- he had to close his eyes and try and avoid the spoils of his temporary elation.   


'Ryou… Ryou… Ryou… ' Bakura kept repeating his hikari's name in his mind. But then- she moaned. Her moaning caused him to finally flash open his dark eyes- and the sight of Tea's sex-hungry face disgusted him. He couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't Ryou- it was Tea. And he felt almost betrayed by the look of pleasure on her face.   


Pushing her off him, he stood up, grabbing his clothes, pulling them on as he headed for the door.  


"Bakura- where the hell are you going?" Tea was on her hands and knees, one arm covering her breasts.  


"I'm leaving." He didn't look back at her as he spoke.  


"Leaving?! Why the hell are you leaving?!" She was angry, sliding off the bed and running to him, holding onto his arm.  


"Let go of me!" He pushed her aside, opening the door and walking into the hall. Closing the door behind him, he walked back to the elevator- then out of the hotel. It seemed he was always sorry for what he did to Ryou.  


*Take a breath- let it out-  
All the things you frown about- are meaningless  
Unless you're doing this for real, I guess  
I meant to but- I don't know what-  
Is in the way and could I say-  
It's you I bet, I won't forget, maybe I'm not ready yet…*  


The house was silent as he stepped inside it once again. The entire place was dark, shadows from the moon outside casting interesting shapes against the wooden floor.   


'It's late… he must be in bed right now.' Bakura slid off his shoes, leaving them neatly at the door, and started to his room. He felt exhausted- and the situation with Tea hadn't calmed him as he would have hoped. It seemed that now more than ever he was starting to be irritated with the sight of her. And hearing that she was causing problems with Ryou only really proved how little of a person she was.   


He sighed, eyes closing as he walked down the hall that held the home's two occupants- Ryou's door was slightly open, moonlight pouring out from the sliver of space. He paused, breathing in deeply next to Ryou's room.   


Bakura could smell Ryou's fresh shampoo and conditioner. A smile spread upon his lips- the fragrance was pleasantly intoxicating- he loved to smell it on his hikari; any trace of the scent always sent chills up his spine. Looking up, he bit his bottom lip, hand reaching out to the door, pushing it open softly. A light breeze pushed past him; the window was wide open, light flooding the room.   


Bakura's chocolate colored eyes narrowed as he looked around, Ryou was lying over his sheets, shivering in his sleep; he was only wearing a pair of blue boxers and the millennium ring. Slowly and cautiously, the standing man went to the window, shut it and then made his way next to the single bed pushed up against a plain wall. Ryou's chest was falling and rising gently, but the bruises painting his skin were testaments of not-so-gentle treatment. Closing his eyes, Bakura grinded his teeth; anger was threatening to show itself. There were bruises scattered along every inch of Ryou's pail body; it seemed his skin was so frail that any type of touch would produce the bruise. But Bakura knew that wasn't the truth. They were all places that he had either kicked, punched, or had thrown his hikari against something.   


'Ra… Why did I do this to him?' Bakura reached under Ryou and pulled the blankets over him. 'He doesn't deserve to be treated like this…' He knelt down, index finger lightly tracing the outline of the hikari's jawbone. But he stopped- finger about to reach for the boy's lips. 'I'm sorry…' The yami stepped back, starring at the peaceful face. 'I can't do this…' And he left the room, he closing of Ryou's room painful in his mind.  
 

*Oh oh… one more addiction in my world…   
One more connection to let go…  
Oh floating down the river-  
Out of sight forever (from my world)-  
It's the only thing I know how to do… *  
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Okay- send me some comments! This one wasn't so long… gomen! 


	3. Big Mistake

Hey out there! Here's track 3- "Big Mistake". This one was actually pretty hard for me to write… I kept getting distracted and then I had no idea what I wanted it to turn out to be like… and well like… yeah. Anyway- hopefully the song makes sense. I actually intended for Ryou to be meaner and everything, but it's hard with a character like him. He's just so nice! But, hopefully there are no real problems… I didn't want Ryou to be angry at Bakura because of the cuts or anything, but I wanted him to be defensive because of jealousy and everything- you know- jealousy because of Yami and Yuugi, and he figures maybe taking Yami's advice, Bakura and himself can finally be equals.  
And quick comment on Malik… I really don't know his character that well- but I'm doing the best I can! HAPPY READING!

Disclaimer: READ THE FIRST TRACK!

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*…*: song lyrics   '…': thoughts

Left of the Middle: Big Mistake  
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*There's no sign on the gate…  
And there's mud on your face.  
Don't ya think it's time we re-investigate the situation?  
Put some fruit on your plate… *

  


The young man sighed as he stepped out of his house, almost shaking his head in disappointment. Bakura hadn't woken up early in the morning as usual- and it wasn't that Ryou looked forward to being yelled at before he made his way to school- but it was that if he received even a glance of his yami before he left, he believed he might be at least a little stronger and therefore able to continue with his day. But Bakura had definitely shut himself in his room when the young man woke up.  


'He must have stayed out late…' The words flashed through his mind as he slowly walked on his way to school. Who knew where he stayed out? With Tea probably. But Ryou didn't want to think of her right then; school seemed pretty important at the time. Ever since he realized what he felt- no more than a few months- did Ryou's grades begin to slip and slide. He couldn't concentrate, he barely did his homework anymore- and tests were really only a reminder of how little the young man even tried. Ryou didn't even want to imagine how much harder it would be on him once he had to start preparing for the college entrance exams. The prospect of it frightened him.   


"Hey, Ryou!" A voice called to him; the young man instantly recognized it as being Yuugi's. Sighing deeply, Ryou stood straight, a plastered smile spreading over his face. Pretending to be a normal and happy person really made sure to fool everyone.  


"Konnichiwa, minna!" He waved, a group of 5 familiar faces walking towards him.  "Ohayo!"  


"Ohayo!" The group repeated in unison when they finally caught up, starting to walk once again.  


"So can you come over to my Grandpa's place tonight, then?" Yuugi stood next to him, Yami Yuugi behind in a sort of protective way.   


"Um…"  


"And don't give us that excuse that you'll be cooking for Bakura, either." Joey chimed in, putting an arm around the white-haired boy. Ryou was starring at the ground. He couldn't deny them anymore- but he knew as well that if he didn't arrive home early, his yami would certainly find a new way of punishment.   


"I'm not so sure…" Ryou mumbled.  


"It's alright, Ryou. Go to the game shop- I'll make sure nothing happens with Bakura." Yami finally spoke up. Everyone nodded except Tea who wasn't even paying attention.   


"Okay then… if you guys really want me to go…" The group rounded a corner, almost directly in front of their school; fellow classmates were walking around, talking and laughing, but the young man felt a pit in his stomach. Wasn't he supposed to be trying to avoid any type of confrontation?  


It seemed that as usual, Yami picked up on this. Taking hold of the young man's shoulder, he slowed down both of their paces. Yuugi looked behind at Ryou, then looked at Yami's face- the two were obviously talking through their minds. To some extent, Ryou was jealous.  


"I know you don't want me to talk to Bakura." Yami was serious, but Ryou starred straight ahead. "And I understand that even you have a deep connection with him. But it seems that you two are almost completely…. Bipolar… I mean that in no sort of denouncement of you, Ryou… but I really do not want to allow such treatment of a hikari."  


At this, Ryou looked up, eyebrows contorted. "Allow such treatment of a hikari?"  


"There are certain obligations that must be followed for a yami… and it seems that he has done nothing but the opposite. Yami and hikari are supposed to be at complete balance- but the darkness is being overbearing right now. Either he intends to harm you much more deeply than he ever has before, or he's holding something important back from you." With his final words, Yami nodded and sped up his step to rejoin the group, Ryou left behind by several feet.  


'Obligations..? Balance? Holding something back…?'  


*You forgotten how it started…   
Think about all the bubbles of love we made… *

  


Sitting through school seemed nothing like a waste of time as Ryou stared with a blank expression straight ahead. What Yami had said all day seemed to completely stick to him; the words made sure to conjure up logical feelings instead of all the emotional ones Ryou carried around all the time.   


What DID Bakura do to him? How was he different than Yami? Well- of course Yami had been a pharaoh with a good upbringing who believed in nothing but good for people and the future of dueling monsters… and yes, Bakura had come from unmentionable places in the lowest classes of ancient Egypt, turning to tomb robbing… but Ryou didn't want to look at the obvious: what REALLY made the two different?  


Yami was kind and gentle- most of the time patient with those around him, and would never lay a finger on anyone… yet Bakura was hard and unforgiving, and he ALWAYS hit him… Ryou didn't want to have the thoughts resurface of why he even had feelings for his other self- he knew that the chain of thoughts would continue forever and would only end up with him crying. But it was unavoidable. Why did he love him?  


But then again… that wasn't the point, was it? If he even loved Bakura or not. It was how he was being treated. Obligations… balance… holding something back… For some reason it made sense. Bakura never did anything to help- he was always trying to push him around- he definitely wanted to hurt him more…  Was that the connection Yami was talking about?  


*And you're down on your knees-  
It's too late… oh don't come crawlin'…  
And you lie by my feet- what a big mistake…  
I see you fallin'…   


The young man sat alone, slowly opening his backpack; his lunch consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich, a bottle of water, and an orange. Ryou sighed, almost the same thing every day- the routine. He usually tried to sit alone but somehow, Yuugi and the rest always found a way to try and accompany him.  Looking down, he started eating; it seemed that he still couldn't get away from what Yami said. And now he almost hated the pharaoh because of it.   


Why did he have to say that right before he got to school? Thinking of it too much was going to give the young man a headache- and no amount of aspirin would make that go away.   


A tapping on his shoulder made him look up; Malik had apparently decided to show up at school. He sat next to him on the grass, crossing his legs and looking around.    


"Why are you sitting over here all alone?" He spoke without looking at Ryou who was downing some of the water.  


He gulped and then sighed. "I usually try and sit by myself."  


"Oh." Malik ran his fingers through his hair, finally turning to the young man. "Yami told me what he told you this morning." Ryou's eyebrows rose. Yami told him?  


"Why did he tell you?"   


"He wanted me to talk you to on behalf of Bakura. At least until he can talk to you himself." Ryou smirked, taking another drink from his water bottle. Malik frowned, shaking his head. "Really, I want to help." The young man stopped, staring at Malik for a second.  


"Help? How can you possibly help?" He talked as if he was surprised, almost amused.   


"How can I? Well- maybe it is true that there's a lot you don't know." Malik sighed, looking up at the sky.   


"I would really want that to be the case… but considering how Bakura hates me so much, it's so hard to believe…"  


"He doesn't hate you."  


"Yeah right… look at how Yami and Yuugi are always with each other- they're happy together. But Bakura never wants that… and I guess it's fine with me if he doesn't want us to connect like they do."  


"Don't say that, Ryou. We all know you want to make peace with your yami." Malik smiled lightly- it looked sort of sincere, but didn't seem like him at all.  


"Make peace?" He took a bite of his sandwich, chewed it for a few seconds, then swallowed before continuing, "making peace will not happen no matter how hard I try… it just makes me realize how little he's ever gonna care for me. Instead of encouraging me to make the situation better, Yami's words really just made me question why I try so hard."  


"Ryou…"  


"No- I'm serious. I never really thought about resenting Bakura before because of what he does to me. But- I guess now, that's what it's come down to." He sighed, looking up at a passing cloud. That's what he thought, right?  


*Got a buzz in my head- and my flowers are dead…  
Can't figure out a way to rectify this situation…  
Don't believe what you said.*  


'He doesn't hate me, right…? Malik, you liar…' His head hit the ground in a thump, a foot rolling him over onto his back. Bakura's cold eyes starred down at him. 'Liar… liar… liar… ' A tear rolled down his cheek as the standing man left the room. Ryou sat up, wiping his face. All the trouble over a duel after school.   


Ryou stood up, dusting himself off, grabbing his things. Normally he would have been at least a little happy that his yami was happy in hitting him… but right then his mind was pre occupied with how everyone was trying to interfere. Why did they want to? He wasn't necessarily grateful- it only put his mind in more of a whirl and nothing would ever really change.   


*You've forgotten how it started…  
Close your eyes- think of all the bubbles of love we made…*  


The taste of white chocolate lingered on his lips as he starred at the wall in front of him. His eyes looked at the whiteness as if it were hiding something from him. Finally his eyes disconnected from the wall as he looked down at the wrappers of Hershey's White Chocolate scattered on the ground. Ryou slid off the edge of his bed, picking them up. What was the use of eating so many when he knew he was going to throw them up, anyway? Going onto his hands and knees, he reached under his bed to take the remaining wrappers, when his gentle fingers fell onto the cover or a book.  


'Hmph..?' He pulled it out and starred at the cover. 'History of Ancient Egypt….? Oh… forgot that I had this down here…' Ryou sat down, setting the handful of full-size wrappers on the ground besides him, flipping open the book. It wasn't that he was curious about the time period, but he wanted know what he could as to somehow not offend his yami with careless words. The young man would keep reading until he finally felt the need to stick his finger down his throat and get rid of all the chocolate in his system.  


*And you're down on your knees…  
It's too late- oh don't come crawlin'…  
And you lie by my feet- what a big mistake.  
I see you fallin'…*  


Ryou brushed his teeth quickly, spitting out repeatedly the taste of juices from his digestion system lingering on in his mouth. He wasn't disgusted by what he did- he just made sure that no one could ever tell. A reflection in the mirror smiled back at the silver-haired male.    


'Good as new…!' His smile slowly faded, but he did nothing but walk from the bathroom to the kitchen, looking for vitamins. Bakura was sitting in the living room, but he was silent. Maybe he was reading his own cards again? The young man found a few vitamin bottles in the cabinet, taking a few that he chased down with ice water; it was the only way to make sure his body didn't fall apart with the small amount of food he consumed in a day.   


Curious as to what his yami was doing, he slowly walked into the living room; Bakura WAS reading his cards- and he was crying over them too.   


'What the…?' Ryou took a step back as a tear fell onto the coffee table, and he heard this. Bakura stood, his face turning to face him; the look on his face was scarring the young man.   


"Get the hell out of here, Ryou!" Bakura was virtually barking at him, angry that he'd seen even a tear come from him. But the rarity caused Ryou to somehow change, and he could feel it once he stepped forward instead of away.   


"Why are you crying..?" He was almost pleading.  


"It's none of your fuckin' business- go to your room!" Bakura wiped his face; it looked as if it was returning to normal with his tears gone. But anger was the only thing that could be considered normal.  


"Why should I?! I want to know what the matter is!" Ryou was crying out- he wanted to know to try and help; Bakura couldn't take it. With an unbelievable stride he walked up to his hikari, grabbing his collar and shaking him; Ryou's glass cup of water fell on the ground, glass shattering, water spreading in all directions.   


"GO AWAY!" Bakura was screaming at the pale face, suddenly throwing him onto the ground. Glass shards cut into the hikari's skin as he hit the ground; cuts on his hands, up his arms. The boy slowly sat up, looking down at his hands where blood flowed freely, clear knifes from his skin. And Bakura stepped away; he was starring at the young man's hands and the bleeding that wouldn't stop. Ryou moaned lightly. It wasn't that he liked it, but that it gave him a high that he only had when he cut himself in honor of his yami. But his yami had done this- and now he was stepping away with a look of regret on his face. He didn't want to do it this time? Ryou was confused. "Ryou… I…"  


"No… it's okay…" He was timid in even saying that.  


"NO- IT'S NOT OKAY!"  


*I can sting like a bee- careful how you treat me…  
Baby I don't think I'll accept your sorry invitation-  
Close the door as you leave…*   


Ryou was careful to stand without using his hands, Bakura was starring at him all the while. Yami's words came up out of nowhere- obligation.  


"What the hell was that for, Bakura?!" Ryou suddenly shouted; he looked down at his hands- the stinging was starting to become unbearable.   


"Why the hell are you telling me that, you ass?! You shouldn't be talking to me like that! You're not even supposed to be in this room when I'm here!" Bakura was taking the defense- but he had definitely had a surprised face when Ryou shouted.  


"Why the hell am I telling you that?! BECAUSE YOU FUCKIN' HURT ME!" Ryou was even shocked at what was coming out of his own lips. How long had he been holding back? "And I shouldn't be talking to you like this? I can talk to you however I like! This is my fuckin' house to- I CAN GO WHERE I WANT!" By now, Bakura was starring in complete shock, but it was quickly gone when he started glaring. The yami took another quick step forward, grabbing Ryou's collar once again. But the hikari didn't shake or pull back; he glared up at the other man. "Get out of my house."  


Bakura's grip on the young man's collar slipped away, he stepped back, a small smile starting to come up to his lips. "I'm proud of you, Ryou. You finally spoke up to me."  


"Didn't you hear me, Bakura? I said GET OUT." Ryou's words were as hard as his eyes; he stood perfectly still, taking command of what he had.  


'What are you doing…? You don't want him to leave…. But….'  


*And you cry over me… I can't wait-  
I feel you stallin'… And you try to reach me- what a big mistake.  
I hear you callin'…*  


Bakura's eyebrows contorted in pain, but it was quickly dismissed as he started glaring once again. "Get out? Fine- I'm leaving." He said it quickly and easily, going to the front door. It wasn't like he had anything in Ryou's house. He stole the clothes he wore as a hobby; all he did was sleep there and complain about not getting fed on time.   


He stopped at the door, looking back at Ryou with a calculating look on his face, then turned and left, closing the door softly behind him.  


"What have I done…" Ryou whispered to himself as he slid to the ground. "But it was for the best, right? It was… he wasn't fair… he hates me- he doesn't take care of me…" He frowned at his own words as he stood up, a new power in his stance.   


'Who cares?' He walked into the living room and looked around, glass and blood where he had stood before. 'Just great…' Ryou turned and sat on the couch, he really didn't want to start cleaning that second. But in his position on the couch, he could see the cards Bakura had laid out when he had seen him crying.  Four cards were laying in order of left to right: Rogue Doll, Ceremonial Bell, Crawling Dragon, Dokuroyaiba. Ryou sighed- it wasn't like he could read the cards, but he certainly knew enough about them to know what they could mean… something he inherited from his yami?   


All four cards seem to spell out what had just happened to him; he smiled softly. How ironic… The Rogue doll to be painful against the darker side… Ceremonial Bell to show each other's true emotions… Crawling Dragon as the dragon that couldn't fly, but is still so strong… and Dokuroyaiba… the burning pain that would linger forever.   


"Oh this is great…" He smiled broadly, sitting on the couch, trying to amuse himself with what he'd just figured out. But the smile slowly faded- a blank expression. And the blank expression carried tears that started to fall freely from Ryou's deep chocolate eyes. He really regretted what he had just done.  
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Hope you like! Review please! (and this is ONLY the third track- there's still hope for poor Ryou!)


	4. Leave Me Alone

Ah… part 4! I would have had this one up ages ago… but considering that I have aol and I couldn't exactly sign into fanfiction.net, I was definitely sort of screwed! Anyway- I know this part is really short (but the song is actually 4 minutes long!), but there really wasn't much I could do with Bakura-chan… 

And for all those Tea fans, sorry… I guess? She's sort of… sluttish in this section. I couldn't help it!

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*…*: song lyrics    '…': thoughts

Left of the Middle: Leave Me Alone

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*I ask you to hold me…  
 But you don't wanna hold me; it don't work like that.  
I want you to love me, but you don't wanna love me-  
I'm losing patience now.*  


His feet seemed to be the only thing his eyes could stare at at the moment. They seemed to be the only things that kept Bakura feeling like they'd never change. Their steps were long and steady, normal pace, only a certain amount of noise. It was all constant; the yami needed that more than ever. Everything else around him was changing, even the cards he'd laid out before himself had shown something to him that he didn't even want to dwell on. But Bakura knew it was inevitable. They'd foretold what was just about to happen between Ryou and himself. And it hurt him deeply that he'd been cast aside.  


'Cast aside.' He repeated the words in his mind once again. His dark eyes contorted in confusion. 'Cast aside? When the hell have I been cast aside before?' Bakura shoved his hands into his jacket's pockets, still starring at the ground underneath him. He bumped into someone; the man replied with a harsh comment; Bakura wasn't paying attention. All he could think about was the look on Ryou's face as he repeated his words.  


"Get OUT." They rung in his ears.   


'I thought I'd be happy when he finally stood up to me. But now…' It was almost hard to breathe. His pace stopped as he looked up, it was getting cold and the sun was starting to set. He'd been walking for hours; yet it didn't matter. He longed to be back in Ryou's house- and look at the young man from afar. But it was an addiction, right? Not looking at him… but the beatings. No matter how hard he would try, they would continue to fall on his hikari.  


But why did he feel sorry for himself? So what if he got finally pushed out of that place he was living in? He could live outside of that place. It was boring there anyway… But Bakura knew they were all lies to cover up his hurt and frustration. He felt sorry that he'd hit his hikari once again… he felt hurt by being told to leave as if he were a nuisance… that's what he was, though… a nuisance.   


Bakura shut his eyes tightly: he'd shown Ryou tears. That was the worst thing he could have ever done. 'What could have possessed me to CRY in front of my hikari?!' He wanted to shout at himself aloud. The only time he had ever shed tears in front of him, it had been when the young man had been sleeping; Bakura had been admiring the fresh bruises on Ryou's porcelain skin. 'I'M SO WEAK!' It seemed that the yami was full of self hatred.  


*Oh… leave me alone (oh leave me alone)-  
Stop asking for more, I'm going home on my own….  
Oh… leave me alone (oh leave me alone)-  
I'm walking out of the door…  
I'll make it on my own…*  


'What about him..?' The thought had been drifting in and out of his mind, but now it seemed to linger. 'He hates me now… if he didn't before, now he will.' Bakura looked out at the people around him- they were walking within their own world, why should they care about something happening in his? 'All of those damn friends of his will hate me even more for this.'  


He frowned, he knew what everyone's reactions would be. But Bakura didn't want to deal with any of it. He finally had been stood up to by his hikari. That was all there was to it. Now it seemed that he would have to quiet himself- go back into his withdrawn self; the self that had stood up to time in the Millennium Ring.  


'Keep telling yourself that, Bakura.' Even his mind was disagreeing with his decision. The yami didn't want to deal with any of the pressures that came with going back and even trying to apologize. Apologizing? That was completely out of the question- no matter how necessary it seemed; the act would only show how weak he truly was. All he could think about was disappearing- maybe that was better.   


'But disappear?' That thought in its self seemed too extreme. Could he actually leave Ryou- his HIKARI? Bakura shook his head; it hurt so much. 'That's what he wanted, though… me to leave.' The pain in his chest was also taking it's toll. 'I can do this… I can… for his sake.' His dark eyes were starring up at the sky. He hated going there- but he knew that it was the only way to live away from his hikari- but still able to look out for the one he loved. He would always be close, right?  


*You like me to stroke you…  
Careful I don't choke you- did you read my mind?  
You say don't be blue…  
Is that the best you can do?  
I've lost my patience now…*  


She lifted a brow as she opened the door, acknowledging his presence. "What the hell are you doing here, Bakura?"  


"I need a place to stay for the night." He tried not to show any shame in his voice.  


"What- you don't have the money to pay for a hotel or something?" Tea crossed her arms over her pink silk pajama set.  


"I left my money at Ryou's house." Bakura frowned; he hated being interrogated- even if he knew he had to be polite in order to spend the night. The woman smirked, stepping aside to let the man in. He looked around. The place was warm and smelled of lavender. He actually hated it. Tea pushed him aside as she walked ahead of him and into the living room, turning off the television.  


"Well- I was actually starting to wonder when you'd be back." She plopped down noiselessly onto the couch, reaching for her nail file. It seemed that in her private life, Tea was much more arrogant and vain. Maybe it ran in the family… but who was ever to know? Her parents were never really involved.  "You keep running off. I don't know if I want a fuck who keeps leaving before I'm done."   


"Are you even able to get any other fuck besides me?" Bakura talked nonchalantly, looking around. Her eyes narrowed.  


"Watch it, Bakura- you don't wanna end up on the street tonight, do you?" His dark eyes shifted to her face, she was smirking with a look of complete malice.   


'What the hell is with this woman? She's constantly in heat, huh?' Bakura sighed, he looked down.   


"Ah… don't look that way, Bakura-chan…" She stood and pressed up against him, caressing the side of his face. "You just got a chance to get away from that brat…" The yami tensed, then tried to relax, she was leading him to the couch. Hearing his hikari disrespected by her was a nagging. But he had to put up with it, no matter how much he actually wanted to kill her. "You know I'll take care of you…" He was laying on the couch now; she was unbuttoning her pajama blouse.   


"…" Bakura said nothing as she slipped off her blouse, exposing her round breasts. 'This is pathetic…' She leaned down and kissed his neck.  


"Bakura… I was almost forgetting what you taste like… we haven't seen each other as much as we used to." Tea was slipping off her pajama shorts, tossing them to the ground along with her forgotten blouse; she was completely naked now. The man closed his eyes. Again the feeling of hatred for her arose. That's all she wanted him for, huh? Her lips were trailing down his neck as her fingers started to unbutton his shirt. It wasn't hatred for her… it was hatred for himself. He was the one who always came back to her.  


*Oh… leave me alone (oh leave me alone)-  
Stop asking for more- I'm going home on my own…  
Oh… leave me alone (oh leave me alone)-  
I'm walking out of the door-  
I'll make it on my own…*  
            

Her head rest against his shoulder as his chocolate colored eyes stared at the ceiling. The two had been laying together for hours- she was a hard sleeper. Sitting up, the woman rolled into the couch's warmth, her naked body was covered by a baby blue flannel blanket that barely went up to her shoulders.   


Bakura stood in the dark room, sighing. Moonlight was sliding into the living room from a partially open window. He walked to it, the light shining onto his naked flesh. Silver hair fell down his shoulders as he looked out down at his chest- the ring would be laying over the exact same spot on his hikari's chest. But- could he be sure? The man sighed- he knew because he would be able to feel the desertion of his other half. Even now he could feel Ryou's soul room shut.   


Tea moaned; Bakura turned and looked at her sleeping face. In her sleep she might have actually been mistaken for someone kind and without hidden intentions. But Ryou was different… only in his sleep was it more obvious who he really was. A peaceful young man who only wants the best for everyone. But the reality was that the yami was out there alone now. His hikari had pushed him away. And now all he was left with was that superficial woman who only wanted sex.  


*Oh… leave me alone (oh leave me alone)-  
Stop asking for more- I'm going home on my own…  
Oh… leave me alone (oh leave me alone)-  
I'm walking out of the door-  
I'll make it on my own…*

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So far I've gotten some… positive reviews- thanks a lot for the encouragement! 


	5. Wishing I Was There

For those of you who have heard this song, I understand it's sorta… happy-ish. I know! But I had to write this track… THIS WAY. So please don't get mad at me! It's all part of a master plan! [hides] don't hurt me! Or else I can't finish! RYOU WILL RECOVER, I SWEAR! Oh- and Emiru is just a character for this track. She might show up a couple more times, but don't worry, I really only need her to show how Ryou actually feels… she's just a mirror- as I say!

Disclaimer: Read the first track  
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*…*: song lyrics   '…': thoughts

Left of the Middle: Wishing I Was There  
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*Take your hand and place it in my pocket-  
Flick your eyes back in their sockets-  
Put those thoughts away,  
Sometimes they're much too loud…*  


He smiled broadly; the young woman was shaking his hand with a smile on her face as well. "I'm so pleased to finally meet you." She looked a bit shy, but interest looked as if it lingered in her eyes.  


"I'm pleased to meet you as well." Ryou nodded, crossing his arms over his chest once again. It had been over 4 months since Bakura had left- and now it seemed as if he might live without him. At least that's what the young man kept telling himself. His friends had insisted that he take his mind off his yami.   


'Get a girlfriend!' Joey had said.  


'Or a boyfriend...' Yuugi had encouraged. After all- he seemed happy enough with his yami. But it wasn't the same, was it?  


"Well- I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, Ryou-san. You've better call me too!" The girl bowed to him. Ryou instinctively bowed back.  


"You don't need to call me Ryou-san, Emiru-san." The two laughed lightly.  


"I'll stop calling you Ryou-san if you don't call me Emiru-san, alright?" The dark haired girl winked as Ryou nodded. "Later…!" She waved,

turning and leaving the class room, a few girls now talking excitedly at her. Her friends kept glancing at the young man.   


Ryou sighed, closing his eyes. 'What am I doing?' He ran his fingers through his silver hair. The entire idea now seemed stupid. 'Am I really even ready for this..?' He reached for his books, checking for anything that may have left behind.  


"Emiru is nice, I hope?" Ryou's dark eyes looked up at Yami who was sitting on the desk behind his, elbows on his knees.  


"Yes… why do you ask?" He stood upright, books at his side.  


"Yuugi proposed that maybe you two would be good together, but you don't seem so excited." Yami tilted his head.  


"I'm sorry that… I'm not." Ryou looked down at the ground; it was the truth. His fellow classmate was attractive, funny, and popular; she wasn't as superficial as some of the other women in his life. But she seemed only a complete mirror of him. That's what everyone said about him anyway…   


"It's alright if you don't like her in the way she wants. You don't have to apologize for anything."   


"I don't want her to be hurt because of me. Emiru is a very nice person." Ryou sighed.   


"Too much like you, you mean?" Yami smiled lightly at Ryou's surprised face. "You miss Bakura don't you?"   


"Uh…" Ryou looked down again; he could feel his pale cheeks starting to tint. "You shouldn't be bringing that up, Yami-san… everyone is trying so hard to make me forget him." His fingers nervously traced the outlines of the letters on his books. Yami's eyes followed the young man's fingers, he understood to some extent.   


"You don't have to hide your feelings about him gone from me. I personally have no idea what I would do if Yuugi were to suddenly be gone from me." His eyes shifted to his own hikari who was talking to a fellow classmate; both were motioning to a book between them, Yuugi occasionally making a few notes in the margin.  


"Yeah well- both you and Yuugi get along perfectly." Ryou's voice was slightly more aggressive than he'd intended, Yami looking up at him. "Bakura hates me."   
  


*I'll take a breath, and cradle you sweet head-  
Should've stayed at home in bed…  
Put that face away- I'm melting for you.*  


His slippers made a soft tapping noise as he walked through his home; the wooden floor sparkled from the hard work he'd done in cleaning it. Ryou yawned, looking down at the light purple digital watch around his wrist.   


'Oh yeah… I'm supposed to call Emiru tonight…' Walking into the living room, he went through his school books, pulling out a slip of paper with a phone number scratched neatly onto it in pink ink; there was a chibi rabbit winking at him from the side of it. A smile slipped onto his lips as he starred at it for a second. Reaching for the cordless phone nearby, he dialed the young woman's phone number, listening to the ringing.   


He sighed, looking around the room. One ring…. His eyes fell to the spot where he'd been thrown on the ground by Bakura on his last night there. Two rings… Ryou's chocolate eyes starred at it imagining his yami's cold eyes starring down at him. Three rings…  


"Moshi moshi." A female's voice spoke lightly.  


Ryou shook his head. The place was almost a spot of meditation. "Uh… hello?"  


The voice responded in an expectant, "hello…"  


"Uh… I'm calling for Emiru."  


"This is she…" She still sounded confused. The young man looked down at the white paper still in his hand.  


"This is Ryou. You asked me to call?" Ryou looked up at the ceiling.  


"Oh- Ryou! You should have said something earlier… getting me worried and all…"  


*I know- I get cold-  
Cuz I can't leave things well alone  
Understand I'm accident prone  
Me- I get free…  
Every night the moon is mine…-*  


The pen's tip lightly scribbled the note on Ryou's Utada Hikaru calendar attached to the inside of his door. "Date w/ Emiru- 6.30". Ryou stepped back from his door starring at the small number in the square where he had written. The date was exactly 6 months since Bakura had left; time had certainly passed. The two classmates had seen and called each other more and more, and Ryou finally had the strength to ask her on a date.  


But it wasn't that he was scarred of being rejected. If anything, he could tell by the way she constantly brought up days she would be "bored at home" that she wanted to go out. It was that he felt as if he was some how rejecting his yami- betraying him.   


'No… stupid thoughts.' Ryou had finally convinced himself that it was for the better. He had to open himself up to her and then he'd finally forget about the man who'd abused him and who was finally out of his life. Did he love him? No- it was a stupid childish obsession with someone who was his complete opposite.  


The young man laid down on his bed; his fingers cradled his head. Ryou smiled lightly, closing his eyes. He could almost picture Emiru's smile, her small soft hand reaching out to his.   


'She's so nice to me…' Ryou kept repeating the words in his mind- but he knew he was failing. The image of her disappeared, fading into the smile of his yami's. Bakura was caressing his cheek. 'No… he's mean to me…' Ryou kept trying to convince himself as the image of his yami leaned in to kiss his forehead. The apparition was whispering something- but Ryou could hear nothing. 'Please Bakura… no… Emiru is here with me- not you…' But it was as if his words were in vain. The image of Bakura was pushing up against him, warmth running down his body. Was he supposed to actually FEEL warmth on him- in his imagination? Ryou longed for it.  


The imaginary Bakura kissed his neck lightly, strong muscular arms wrapping around Ryou's waist, pulling him closer. The young man felt weak in his yami's arms.   


"Hikari…" Ryou could finally hear Bakura's words- he was whispering in his ear. "Hikari…" That was all he was saying.   


'Bakura…' Ryou's body seemed frail in a way that Ryou accepted without fail.   


"Hikari…" the image repeated its words as the yami's lips approached his own.   


'Bakura…'  


*But when the morning comes- don't say you love me- don't say you need me-  
I really don't think that's fair.  
Boy, I'm not so dumb…  
But when you leave me-   
I'll be wishing I, wishing I, wishing I was there…*  


The young man stretched, silver hair falling carelessly down his naked back. It was a rare occasion that he slept in, but with the dream he had the night before- he felt it was appropriate. Ryou stood, making his bed slowly, yawning all the time. Making his way down the stairs of his silent home, he walked into the kitchen, starring at the table. Just once he would love to have someone cook for him.   


His body slumped into one of the 4 wooden chairs. Saturday morning and he felt empty. He didn't want to do anything. But somehow, he knew he was going to be forced to. Someone would call- or come to his door- always something. Ryou closed his eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep. The dream of the night before was flashing through his mind.  


Bakura kissing him with a slow soft vigor, his imaginary lips tasted like caramel melting against Ryou's tongue; the chills he'd felt as his yami's hands traveled into his hair, pulling lightly at the strands- almost massaging his scalp; the feeling of Bakura's hardened length against the inside of his thigh. Ryou licked his lips. Yet nothing had happened in the dream. It seemed as if the illusion was only there to comfort his mind and drift him into the night's sleep. Without noticing, the young man was lightly touching his own lips- wishing that the taste of his illusion still lingered.  


The phone rang; for an instance Ryou felt scarred. If someone saw him like this- what would they say? They would say something to Emiru… The phone rang again. He shook his head, standing and reaching for the phone.  


"Hello?" He tried to talk normally instead of in an exasperated tone.  


"Afternoon, sleepy- head!" Emiru's voice was cheerful. "I've been trying to call all morning, ya know!"  


"Gomen…" Ryou yawned once again. 'I need to forget him…'  


"Don't you have a phone in your room or anything?"  


"No… why?" 'I need to forget him so I don't hurt her… she deserves someone who's faithful and wants only her.'  


"So you'll hear the phone every time I call, baka!" She laughed lightly, Ryou doing the same to show he was paying attention.   


'I want to forget him… so I can't concentrate on only her… but… I can't…'  


*I dreamt about another girl in bed with you.  
You just laughed and smiled- denied the proof…  
We're fine till I think of the problem…*  


Her hand moved slowly to his, her thumb was soon caressing his knuckles. He starred down at their physical connection. It felt wonderful to have the woman give some affection; it felt empty.   


"Thank you so much for asking me to come with you today, Ryou-chan." Emiru smiled; her long dark brown hair accented her pale green eyes. "I had a lot of fun." Ryou smiled up at her. The two were sitting at a small French restaurant- a small table between the two where two almost empty trays of chocolate mousse in front of each person.   


"Me too." Emiru was blushing; Ryou looked down. For some odd reason, he knew the moment wasn't right.  


"I… I don't know how to say this… but- I really like you, Ryou. Most guys will only really stick around to make themselves look good- but… I can feel that you're staying with me because you care." Her other hand reached out to Ryou's face, caressing his jawbone with her index and middle finger. "I really like that in you. It's so hard to find someone like you." The young man stayed silent, but he smiled at her.   


Ryou was afraid of what he would say if he opened his mouth. The truth was that he loved her because of her concern for others- how she loved to help others. But he had never really had feelings for her that might involve a relationship Emiru wanted. All he could do was try and comfort her; Ryou knew he would eventually have to say something.   


"Ryou… I would really like it if we could be like this…" She lightly guided him closer, the two leaning closer over the small table. The male could feel what was about to happen, but was hesitant to think of a way to stop it. "I… really…" And their lips were instantly locked. Emiru's eyes were closed lightly, Ryou felt scarred at how sincere she was- and how he had no feelings for her at all.   


'I can't do this…. I…. just can't… Bakura…' Someone bumped into his shoulder, breaking their kiss. It was like electricity. Before Ryou even looked up, he knew who it was. His chocolate eyes looked up at the man who had passed, a smaller girl next to him, hand in his back pocket.  


"Bakura…" Ryou whispered as the two passed; it seemed that his yami had somehow heard his name, he looked over his shoulder. His dark eyes were blank as they bore into him- like they'd never met before in their lives. Emiru followed Ryou's eyes to the other male who then turned, holding the woman with him closer- Tea.   


"Wow- you two look so much alike… do you know each other?" She spoke very light heartedly. Ryou swallowed his failing pride.   


"No- I've never seen him in my life."  


*I wish it made sense-  
Like a joke that no one gets…  
It's a life without regret-  
I wanted to feel that way, forever and ever…*  


The rain fell hard against his back as he walked slowly through the wet streets of Domino- the place looked like a wet watercolor picture. All the colors were fading together, running in an endless stream through the gutters and drains. Ryou's body longed to fall onto the pavement underneath him and have the pounding rain wash him away, but he kept his body upright and functioning.   


"No- I've never seen him in my life." His words liked to come back and haunt him, right? Emiru had been dropped off about an hour before- and since he'd left her doorstep, he'd wandered the streets. He didn't care if the wind was cold and the rain was unmerciful. It was nothing compared on how he was seeing himself.   


'He looked at me like…' Ryou didn't even have the tears to cry. They had all somehow been spent on the six months of Bakura's absence. Now all he could do was hope the rain would wash his pain away, or even try to calm him. 'And he saw me kissing her…'   


"But I didn't want to kiss her… gomen, Bakura… gomen nasai…" Ryou mumbled lightly, salty rain washing over his lips. There would be no longer the caramel taste from his dreams.   


But was he upset or depressed? Ryou couldn't even make up his mind. He was still with Tea- who cared what was happening with him and Emiru. Ryou knew for a fact that Tea was sleeping with him.   


'God… forget about her!' He shivered for the first time in the dark  
. The look on his yami's blank face was the only thing he really cared about.   


"Oh… look at you…" A voice snapped him from his internal argument. Ryou turned around, three tall good-looking men stood there with raincoats. "We couldn't help but notice you're out here by yourself." They all looked at him with concern. "You're all wet…" The one speaking reached out and ran his index finger down Ryou's cheek. The young man took a step back, the three men laughing lightly.  


"Ah… don't do that…" Another man spoke; the two men on the ends stepped up closer to him, they were all surrounding him.  "You're such a pretty boy, too…" They were all stepping up close to him.   


"What do you want…?" Ryou knew that even if he tried to fight- they were all bigger- there were more of them- they would overpower him no matter what.   


"Just to take care of you, pretty boy…" The three took hold of him, dragging him kicking and screaming to an alley in a dark and silent street of Domino.  


*I know… I get cold-   
Cuz I can't leave things well alone- understand I'm accident prone.  
Me… I get free…  
Every night the moon is mine-  
But when the morning comes, don't say you love me- don't say you need me-  
I really don't think that's fair-  
Boy, I'm not so dumb…  
But when you leave me-   
I'll be wishing I, wishing I, wishing I was there…*

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I told you- it had to be done! (and for those who don't understand what happened… -_-. You'll get it by the time I finish the next track!) But believe me, the next will probably be really… mushy. O.o well, hopefully not so mushy. "Smoke" is a good song- it always makes me want to cry...


	6. Smoke

So here it is- "Smoke"! Sorry it took me a while to write this part up- I wasn't exactly sure how I would go about this… I really don't think it's mushy at all- I just think Bakura is definitely in for an interesting time when he has to finally speak to Ryou in the next part ("Pigeons and the Crumbs"). Um… I also don't think the rape scene is that graphic or anything… hopefully I don't get any complaints about that side of it… [looks at the readers threateningly] And yes- I understand that it's horrible to have Ryou-chan be rapped and all… but I would really have to say that it would HAVE to be something big for Bakura-chan to finally do something for his hikari! 

Disclaimer: Read the first track!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
*…*: song lyrics   '…': thoughts

Left of the Middle: Smoke  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

*My lullaby… hung out to dry…  
What's up with that? It's over…  
Where are you dad? Mom's looking sad…  
What's up with that? It's dark in here…*  


The man sat silently, elbows resting on his knees, finger tips touching- making a triangle of his hands. Bakura's dark brown eyes were starring straight ahead into the street; the rain's scent filling his lungs with each breath.   


'Six months…' The man felt as if any strength of his former self had disappeared. 'I can't blame him, though…' A gust of wind made the rain fall hard for a few seconds. 'He looked like he might really be happy with that girl he was with…' A flash of lightning illuminated his calm face. 'Who was I trying to kid anyway? Thinking that maybe I might be able to undo everything I did before..?'  


For the entirety of the time he was with Tea, it seemed that Bakura had always tried to hold onto a shred of what could be ignited between Ryou and himself once again. But he had no hope anymore. Ryou had moved on- and it seemed as if he should as well. But somehow, he couldn't let go. Wet dreams that didn't involve anyone but Ryou were frequent; he imagined his hikari in Tea constantly. It was as if the drug that was his hikari was disappearing and he was trying to hold onto it longer and longer.   


'But I was so cold to him today…' Bakura sighed, closing his eyes. The look on the young man's face materialized in his mind. 'Such an interesting thing to do after I haven't seen him in so long… I miss him…' He frowned. 'Miss him?'   


"Yeah right…" His words aloud tried to convince his mind of a fake truth. He smirked at it- but then his face slid back into seriousness. "I do miss him…"   


A hand touched his shoulder, making Bakura look up; Tea bending over to look at him. "What's the matter, hun?" She smiled lightly, sitting down next to him on the cold stoop. The woman shivered a bit, hugging her knees. "Thanks for taking me out to dinner tonight." Bakura stayed silent, starring ahead at the puddles of water that rippled with falling rain drops. "You saw Ryou- and you didn't say anything. I'm proud of you." At this, the man glared straight ahead.  


"I don't want your praise." His voice was harsh.  


"Hmph… well- I'm happy that you didn't. I don't want you to leave me." Her hand touched his shoulder lightly, he pulled back.  


"What should it matter to you if I talk to him?" Bakura finally looked at her.  


"You don't have to hate me because of him, ya know? I take care of you better than he ever did." Tea spoke in a tone of self appraisal, looking up at the dark clouds.  


'Shut up…' Bakura didn't want her near him at the moment. 'Shut up…' Then suddenly he felt heavy- as if a weight was being pushed down upon his shoulders. 'What?' He glanced around- everything looked blurry for a few seconds- then returned back to normal. Tea was caressing his back. 'What was…?'   


"Let's go back inside, baby… unless you wanna do it in the rain…?" The girl giggled, fingers running down one of his thighs.   


*Why… bleeding is breathing…  
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room-  
Try… bleeding is believing…  
I used to…*  


Biting his bottom lip, Bakura reached his pinnacle, slumping down onto the woman underneath him. His body was covered in fresh sweat of not only his body, but Tea's as well. It was as if every time he climaxed, he was trying to rid himself of the pain he felt for imagining a different person with whom he was with. The girl giggled, fingers caressing the area at the base of the back of his neck, her calves wrapped around his legs as she hugged him. Bakura felt empty- like he was about to be swallowed by some sort of pain that he couldn't rid himself of.   


"God… you're so good at this… no wonder I don't wanna let you go…" She licked her lips, Bakura closing his eyes. She kept rubbing it in, huh?  


Ringing made Tea look to her left at the phone on the glass coffee table. Reaching out, she picked it up and brought it to her ear.   


"Moshi moshi. Malik?" Bakura turned to face her, she was starting to sit up. "Bakura? Oh- he's right here…" She handed the phone to him. "Something about him calling from the hospital or what not." Tea slid off the couch, reaching for her scattered clothing.   


"Hello?" Bakura sat up, running his hand through his light hair.   


"You need to get down here." The male's voice was hurried.  


"What? Why?" He massaged his temple.  


"Ryou's in trouble." Bakura lifted a brow.   


"What happened?"   


"I don't know if I should say this over the phone…" The voice sounded both nervous and hesitant.  


"What the hell happened, Malik?" He started reaching for his boxers, a slow sort of moving. It couldn't be anything serious, right?  


There was a pause. "Ryou was attacked… some guys beat and rapped him." Bakura stopped moving, starring straight ahead. "The doctors also found out he's bulimic and he's been cutting himself." Bakura opened his mouth as if he was to say something- then suddenly just turned off the phone, flinging it across the room, rushing to pick up his clothing.  


"What's the matter, honey?" Tea walked into the living room with a mug of steaming tea in her hand. She stood at the doorway, watching as he yanked on a black T-shirt. Bakura looked at her for a second.  


"Don't call me 'honey'." The man snarled out, he was pulling on a jacket. With a quick stride, he walked past her, going to the front door.   


"What the hell happened to you?!" Tea snapped back, glaring at him. "If it was Malik- I bet it has something to do with Ryou, huh? I don't want you to go see him."  


"URUSAI!" Bakura boomed out, opening the door and stepping out.   


"I don't want you to see him!" She was trying to command him.   


"BAKA NA BAITA!" And he slammed the door, taking off at a run through the rainy streets.   
  


*My mouth is dry- forgot how to cry…  
What's up with that? You're hurting me…  
I'm running fast- can't hide the past…  
What's up with that? You're pushing me…*  


The sight of the pail young man attached to wires and massive beeping machines caused the man to take a sharp intake of air. Ryou's eyes were closed peacefully, arms resting over the stiff cotton sheets. Just from what could be seen- there were cuts scattered along his cheeks- a bruised eye- writs slit in several places, bruises adorning them from where he'd been held. There was a clear tube attached to his arm- he'd been drugged for sleep that may not even be full of rest. Bakura stood at the foot of his bed, starring at the young man's abused face.   


'How…?'   


"I found him in the city when I was taking a walk. Apparently he'd at least tried to put up a good fight." Malik leaned against the wall behind him, arms crossed. "The strap to the Millennium Ring is ripped- they tried to steal it." Bakura stayed silent, hands were now gripping the foot rail. "He was holding it when I found him."  


Standing upright, the other male sighed, turning to face the exit. "Please don't hurt him while you're in here. He's been beat up too much tonight." And he walked to the wooden door, stepping out into the fluorescent lighted hallway. Bakura knew that Malik wasn't serious in that he'd hurt his hikari right then- but he resented that he'd make a comment like that when Ryou was so weak.   


Sighing, he pulled a chair up next to the hospital bed, taking the young man's hand in his- it was cold. 'I'm so sorry, Ryou…' His eyes never flinched from the serene face. 'Nothing like this is ever supposed to happen to you…' The young man opened his mouth slightly- breathing. 'I never thought-' Bakura grimaced.   


"That's right- I never thought…" The yami closed his eyes. Flashes of all the beatings flooded back to him at once- the pushing, the yelling, the spitting in his hikari's face. It was all coming to him plainly: he'd been the source for Ryou's self torture. He was the one who was making Ryou starve himself and cut himself repeatedly. Bakura shook in anger at what he'd done before.   


'Look at you now… this would have never happened if I had been nice to you from the start…' With a trembling hand, he reached out and ran his fingers through the young man's silver hair; it felt soft against his touch. But Bakura could remember when he pulled it roughly, treating the thin strands like pieces of rope.   


Breathing in a tremendous amount of courage, Bakura leaned down and kissed the young man's forehead. He knew that his hikari would know nothing of it, but feeling the gentle skin pressed against him at least calmed the man a little. Sitting up again, Bakura shivered, his eyes falling upon a silver clipboard- the doctor's report.  


*Why… bleeding is breathing…  
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room…  
Try… bleeding is believing-  
I used to… I used to…*  


Bakura closed his eyes, opening them slowly as his fingers traced the edges of the silver clipboard. He opened it slowly, looking over the first sheet, the doctor's notes scribbled what medication he'd been given and when he'd come in. Flipping the page, the dark eyes narrowed in anger. Everything the doctor had examined was listed.   


'Extensive bruising along back, hips, shoulders, wrists, face and neck. Anal penetration cause of internal bleeding- attributed to no lubrication- STD tests pending. Excessive cuts along ankles, upper thighs, abdomen, and wrists. Mild stages of bulimia nervosa (mild teeth deterioration, gastrointestinal fluids lacking in potassium).'   


The man flipped through the pages- there were pictures. Pictures of all the bruises, and the scars- how Ryou looked when he'd been brought in. Lip bleeding, eyes closed- bruise starting to show around his eye, hair in disarray.  Bakura set the clipboard on the bed stand; he wasn't there to protect his hikari like he was supposed to.   


'I'm a failure… a-'  


"Failure." He stared down at the young man's face once again. "I'm a failure, Ryou." There seemed to be no way of denying it anymore, everything was stacked against him- all of his pride was the root of his actions. "Gomen nasai… Ryou…" He took the young man's hand in his once again, kissing the knuckles with gentle lips. Bakura knew that once the hikari woke up, he'd never be able to act the same- but he'd never know, right? He could be as emotional as he wanted, finally pour his heart out. But that wasn't like him.  


His chocolate eyes were empty in their longing stare at the young man. He'd dreamed about him so much- about being able to hold him close and kiss his lips gently- whispering his name. But now Ryou was lost in his dreams; body abused and literally rapped. Bakura didn't know what to do anymore- was there even anything he could do?  


He leaned forward, head resting atop Ryou's bed, eyes watching his gentle hand. He closed his eyes, sleep starting to take even him.  


*Why… bleeding is breathing…  
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room….  
Try… bleeding is believing- I saw you- crawling on the floor-*  


The dark walls echoed his steps as he made his way to the single door, starring at the knob.   


'Do I really want to do this?' Bakura closed his eyes- imagining the sleeping face of his hikari in the hospital room. Blindly, he turned the knob in front of him- light seeping into his dark soul room. His dark eyes opened, starring at the white door in front of him- he'd never seen it before in his own stubbornness.   


With slow steps, he walked in front of Ryou's soul room, starring at the silver knob.   


"Ryou?" Bakura whispered lightly. He really had no idea what he was doing- all he knew is that he really only wanted to cry at his hikari's feet- he'd been the reason for all of the young man's pain. "Ryou…?" He reached out to knock- but the door slid open slowly. The yami's eyes widened as he looked inside. The walls were painted in white and pale green- pictures lined the walls. Yuugi- Yami- Joey- that girl he was with in the restaurant. But pit in his stomach was reached when he saw the picture of himself. The image wasn't mad or upset, it was smiling lightly.   


Bakura took a step forward into the room- it was silent. The items scattered around included a deck of duel cards, a stack of books, a CD player- the millennium ring. He reached down and picked it up, memories flooding back to him.  


*Why… bleeding is breathing…  
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room…  
Try… bleeding is believing- I saw you- crawling to the door-*  


"Let go of me!" He pulled his arm away, only to be pushed against the wet brick wall of the alley.   


"Aw… why would we let you go?" One of the males whispered into his ear. "You're a pretty catch…" His wet tongue licked the young man's cheek, causing him to try and pull away once more.   


"Don't flinch, pretty one!" A hand gripped onto the back of his neck, shoving him harder against the wall. Ryou moaned in pain, yet it seemed nothing like what Bakura would have done; the feeling of the sandpaper hurt his skin. His pants were ripped down- they were all ready soaking wet from the rain and they felt cold as they grazed his skin with wet knives. "And a nice ass, too! Gentlemen- I have first choice since I picked him out!" The men laughed- their voices were hurting Ryou's ears.   


His hands were pegged against the wall tightly, the back of his neck being squeezed, a tongue was tracing circles along his exposed areas. 'Bakura… Bakuraaa…' Ryou could feel tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. 'Please… Bakura…' He whimpered- the strange man had penetrated and it was sending shocks up his spine; the young man's body wanted to collapse in pain.   


"Ah… he looks so tight!"   


"Hmph… he is!" Ryou's hips were hurting from the strong hands against his skin. And it seemed that the man behind him couldn't control himself- he climaxed quickly; their positions changed- another man holding his head to the wall- and they commenced once again.   


"Uh…" The young man could feel the man's breath against his neck as he came as well.   


"You guys better have left me with at least some blood!" The positions changed again. "Ah…" The final man penetrated- he was moving quickly with the fresh blood spilling from the young man's body. Ryou closed his eyes tightly.  


'Bakura… Bakura….' He was crying uncontrollably as the man climaxed; they turned him around, still pushing him against the wall.   


"Yes- a good one…" One licked his neck- trailing down to his collar. He spotted the strap of the Millennium Ring. "Look at this!" The man pulled the ring out from under his shirt; it's color gleamed even in the cloudy sky.   


"I wanna keep that as a souvenir!" The one who had just spoke pulled hard, it ripped off Ryou's neck. They let go of his body, they were turning to leave.  


"No…" Ryou's body slump to the ground. With clumsy hands, he pulled his pants up; he could feel liquid running down his legs. "No… Bakura…" The young man struggled to push himself up, eyes starring after the three men only a few feet away. 'I can't let you…. Take… Bakura…' The pain he felt was making it hard even to move his arms. Reaching out quickly, he grabbed onto the raincoat of the man with the ring, punching him in the nose- he caught the ring as the man let go in order to hold onto his bleeding face. The three began shouting- one punched Ryou in the face, causing him to finally collapse in complete pain- another kicking him in the stomach.   


"Fuckin' BITCH!" The bleeding man shouted.  


"What's going on?!" A voice called from the opening of the alley. The three men looked up, then ran in the opposite direction. Ryou was barely conscious long enough to see a familiar pair of shoes run up to him.  


*Why… bleeding is breathing…  
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room…  
Try… bleeding is believing- I saw you… falling to the floor…*  


Bakura let the ring fall soundlessly to the ground. His knees gave out, the man falling to the ground- eyes and expression both blank at what he'd seen. Ryou had been crying for him- for protection. And he'd been having sex with Tea at the same time as his hikari cried for his help. He'd let the woman seduce him- he'd felt the change when the ring was ripped away- yet he did nothing but go and sleep with Tea.   


"Ryou…" He put his head in his hands. "Ryou, I-" Tears started to run steadily down his face. He'd seen his own downfall- he wasn't worthy of being anyone's yami- he couldn't even protect the one person he had fallen in love with.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

All of your reviews are great- thanks everyone! (and thank you so much for not killing me because of the last track…!) 


	7. Pigeons and Crumbs

GOMEN NASAI, GOMEN NASAI, GOMEN NASAIIII! [bows repeatedly] sorry this took so long to write, everyone! This part would have been up AGES ago had the disk I saved it on suddenly didn't wanna open the file. [kicks the wall] and I was so proud of it! I wrote it and it was good- and DAMN IT ALL! [kicks the wall] . [sighs] okay- enough. I pretty much had to make myself settle with my second writing of this story. and it's.. k. I mean- it still gets what I wanted to out. but it's still not the one that I wanted to put up. But- I'm dealing with it, and I guess that's the only thing I can do. ^_^.' Anyway, this is a response to readers section (for once!)! Here goes:  
  
Jello: Thanks so much for the support! I knew you'd be confused just by reading the first part considering you don't watch Yu Gi Oh, but at least give it a chance- it's not that bad! But still- thanks so much! [huggles and kisses her]  
  
Soleia Nova: Malik? [scans through the section] well- considering that I really don't know that much about him, I was sorta scarred to even try and put him in- I can't really get much of a description of character from only seeing screenshots! [cries] It sucks cuz he's such a cutie! [drools over her wall scroll of him] he's hell-a good lucking, but it's hard to write about him. sooooo.. Anyway- I gave it a shot- he's in this one. I wouldn't say A LOT- but he's in it a lot ^_^. I tried, okay?!  
  
Ryoubakurafan013: [gives rbf a kudos bar] Aww. a fellow Anzu-hater. [nods in approval] now the question is: do you hate Relena Peacecraft with the same passion? [taps her chin]  
  
Setowriter123456: Wow- you like Bakura/Anzu parings? [smacks him] BAD, SETOWRITER- BAD! [sticks a band-aid on his head with a giant label that reads "Ceres approved"]  
  
Frozen Moon: Of course the scene wasn't that bad! I actually thought it was toned down- A LOT. I was just sorta worried that I wouldn't be able to post it. [grumbles] and I can't do any NC-17 parts or nothing. grr. . I'm not so squirmish about them anymore!  
  
Crystaldraygon98: [stares at her] daaaammmmmmnnnnn... you've really gotta calm down a little, dude! [hands her a butcher knife labeled "calm"] now go, good crystaldraygon- start slashin' anzu-lovers!  
  
  
  
Okay-enough for now- I'll have to write more responses later- no time! . Anyway, on with the story!  
  
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*..*: Song Lyrics '.': Thoughts  
  
Left of the Middle: Pigeons and Crumbs  
  
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*Gotta get back- gotta figure out a way-  
  
I'm losing- my senses. to you.  
  
Where'd it go? That blue bird I should follow- back home?  
  
But where is- home?*  
  
"Ryou?" The words glided through the door like a gentle wind. The young man's features softened- listening to the tone of his yami's voice. "Ryou..?" Bakura repeated again. The young man opened the door towards him silently- but it was as if the man didn't see him. The yami took a step forward- he looked completely out of place with his all-black clothes- the black against the contrast of light colors in Ryou's soul room. Yet the look on his face was of complete awe and some sort of deep connection with what he saw. Ryou closed the door behind his other half, leaning against it to watch his yami.  
  
The man kneeled and picked up the glowing millennium ring that lay in front of him- and the young man could feel nothing but shame because of it. He knew what it must be doing- why Bakura shook lightly: it was showing him everything that had happened. He closed his eyes- all the memories played themselves back in his mind alone. He'd been touched- nothing could ever change that. Strange men had soiled him and now there was nothing but shame and the anger that he knew his yami would have at him. But he smiled lightly- Ryou could to some extent be happy with the news of his yami's anger. At least with the beatings that he knew would rain down on him, he'd have a taste of what he'd been missing for so long.  
  
The yelling would include something of- why didn't he fight back? Why didn't he kill them? Why did he even let them surround him? Ryou's intelligence would be questioned; physical stability would never be an issue. Bakura would yell about how weak he'll always be and how he probably deserved what he got from those men.  
  
But deep down, Ryou wished that wouldn't happen- the part of him being told that he deserved it. Now it seemed that any happy thought that he may have ever contained was spoiled. The three men had stolen from him what he'd kept only for Bakura. The question of virginity would have never crossed his mind if there had never been Bakura.  
  
The young man sighed, hugging his body closely to himself. He didn't think of his sexual self though- he could only think of how tainted he'd become. Used and cast aside like trash; left to die.  
  
"Ryou." Bakura's sudden words made him look up; the yami had dropped the ring and his arms gripped his body tightly.  
  
'Huh..?' Ryou took a step forward- a sort of automatic reaction.  
  
"Ryou, I-" The man sounded as if he was chocking on even trying to say the hikari's name. Biting his bottom lip; the courage Ryou took was almost draining: He walked behind his yami, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.  
  
'I-' He closed his chocolate eyes slowly. 'Bakura, I-'  
  
"I'm sorry." The young man felt as if his words were foreign even to his own ears. The tomb robber slowly stood, turning to face his hikari.  
  
The living view in front of him seemed purely distinct. Bakura's dark eyes fell on a replica of the Ryou he'd seen in the hospital bed- bruised face, legs, arms- long silver hair that fell swiftly over his pale blue hospital gown- healing scars scattered over legs and inner arms. The tears that trailed the man's face only increased in the young man's presence. "What?" It was hard to even say the single word.  
  
"M-Master." Bakura's streaming eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry." Ryou looked down, he couldn't take the look his yami was giving him- he couldn't read it. There seemed no anger or frustration and the instability was making the young man afraid. He would die, right? He'd looked into his yami's eyes- of course he would. His body tensed, it was ready for the beatings that would follow.  
  
But to his surprise, strong arms snaked their way around Ryou's small waist, pulling his slender body into a firm and warm embrace.  
  
'B-Bakura.?' Ryou's eyes were wide and he could feel his body shivering.  
  
"No." Bakura whispered gently into his ear- the tone sent slow and gentle electricity through the teenager, his body finally relaxing and melting against his yami's. Bakura cradled Ryou's head against his chest, rocking him back and forth protectively.  
  
'I'm so, so sorry, Bakura.' Tears were threatening to well at his closed eyes; he could feel fingers gently running through his hair. But somehow it didn't feel it could ever be that easy; Ryou slowly looked up at the man holding him. It looked so much like the Bakura he'd been used to- but what he saw was the man now with streaming tears and eyes closed lightly shut. Clear strands of tears were now starting to freely run down Ryou's pale cheeks- one falling atop Bakura's hand.  
  
Dark, deep pools of chocolate slowly opened to look down at the young man; Bakura's tears hadn't stopped yet. "I'm so sorry." Ryou repeated aloud; he looked down- this is when it was supposed to happen right? The punch. He kept begging for it internally. At least then he knew it was the Bakura he secretly longed for- not this one that was too perfect to be holding him- and that he might just as easily come to love.  
  
  
  
*Guess it won't amount to much.  
  
Won't be long before I crush.  
  
I'll stand in line-*  
  
Bakura's lips could still taste the salty tears that had run freely over them for what seemed like hours before, but his hands busied themselves now- he was preoccupied and couldn't let his mind wander. He'd found flannel blankets among the organized things in Ryou's soul room and laid them across a small area to provide a make-shift bed for his hikari when he lay the young man's body on the ground. Sitting next to him, his finger tips grazed over the velvet alabaster skin of his hikari; Ryou probably knew what he was doing- assessing the "damage". He could feel his fingers caress his ankles- his hips- his neck. Every time he paused long enough for the wound to be remembered- Ryou would probably have no idea why he did it, but a feeling of revenge wasn't on Bakura's mind.  
  
Slowly, Bakura's hands traveled to Ryou's arms, fingers tracing along the healing scars. //Don't do this anymore// He could feel his hikari flash open his brown eyes- he knew this was the first time Bakura had spoken like that since the months he'd left. Ryou sighed, closing his eyes once again as his yami's fingernails grazed the flesh of the young man's inner arm.  
  
/It. it doesn't matter anymore./  
  
//IT MATTERS TO ME!// The shouting took Ryou by complete surprise; even Bakura knew the words had been in desperate frustration. Ryou opened his eyes once again, Bakura looking back with tears that threatened to start falling.  
  
The young man slipped his lids back closed- the yami couldn't deny the look on his face- fear. /I won't do it anymore, Yami./  
  
  
  
*Don't believe a thing they say, today.  
  
Seems we all get lost amongst- the pigeons and the crumbs*  
  
His eyelids flickered lightly- then his dark eyes opened to the soft lighting of the hospital room. The entire place was silent- the only thing Ryou's eyes could focus on was the window across from him that opened to the crying skies, the rain seemed to keep wanting attention- tapping and never wanting to leave. He sighed, the young man couldn't turn his neck- his shoulders and lower back were stinging.  
  
'This is great.' Ryou frowned as he closed his eyes once again; he was ready for the boredom to sink in.  
  
A soft click at the door made him contort his eyebrows lightly- someone's steps were coming towards his bedside.  
  
"Bakura?" He felt moving on the sheets- Bakura had been there? Ryou could feel his heart in his throat.  
  
"Huh? Malik?" The deep voice slowly responded.  
  
"Bakura, you should come over to my place- you've been here for days without eating or sleeping. Isis called a car over to come and pick up- it's here all ready."  
  
"I'm not going."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
"Bakura- please! It's not good for you to stay here-"  
  
"I'm not leaving Ryou." The young man could feel a warm hand atop his.  
  
"I know how you feel about your hikari, but-"  
  
"Malik- I'm not going ANYWHERE." Bakura didn't shout his last word- but it was defined extremely well, producing a "HMPH!" from Malik as he plopped down into one of the visitor's chairs. A few seconds later, there were beeps.  
  
"Yeah- he's not going- send the car away." He hung up his cell phone. "You're so fuckin' stubborn, ya know that?" Bakura's fingers intertwined with his own but he was scarred of making any motion- his yami would know he was awake.  
  
"How long are you going to stay here?" Malik asked softly. There was silence and Ryou knew Bakura was probably contemplating everything.  
  
"Until he gets better." The other man chuckled lightly.  
  
"Whatever, Bakura." There was a pause before Malik continued. "Yuugi and the others are planning to come here today."  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
"I don't want you to cause any trouble with them."  
  
"Why would I do anything to them?"  
  
"They'll definitely have something to say about you being here."  
  
"Do you think it matters?" Bakura sounded as if he was starting to be annoyed with his friend's single line responses.  
  
"Not to you, but to them. They're gonna think you might have something to do with this." The hand of his yami squeezed tighter. "I might know that you don't want to hurt Ryou, but do they? They seem to think you'll start on a rampage for letting this happen to Ryou even when he had no control over it."  
  
"You seem to know a lot about their opinions- I take it you've been with them more and more often."  
  
"It's not like I have a choice, Bakura. Ever since you left I took it as my responsibility to look after Ryou."  
  
"You didn't do a good job." There seemed to be no ill feelings in Bakura's words and the young hospitalized man could tell that Malik picked up on it as well.  
  
"Bakura- no body could have known that Ryou was. you know- to himself." The young hikari could hear the sandy-haired young man stand and begin to pace. "He tried so hard to convince everyone that he was fine after you left- he fooled even me for the love of Ra!" He sighed. "Everyone was trying so hard to make him forget you, I guess he felt that maybe that was what he should make them all think."  
  
'Please, Malik- SHUT UP!' Ryou kept yelling in his mind. It wasn't that he hated the young man- it was that all he said was true. Ryou didn't want to face the logic in what he was saying- he didn't want his yami to hear any of it. He'd been foolish- he'd been caught. There was no way to deny it anymore- even to himself.  
  
  
  
*All alone- but I'm in a crowded room.  
  
I'm sinking in quicksand, tonight.  
  
You pick me up- and I shine across the sky.  
  
Till morning- when you color me in.*  
  
Soft whispering was slowly whisking him away from a soothing sleep- his yami had been brushing his hair, fingers running softly through his silver locks.  
  
'Hmph?' Ryou's eyelids flicked- there were people in his room.  
  
"Look- he moved!" Honda's voice whispered. The young man slowly opened his eyes, his vision welcoming the four people standing around his hospital bed. Yami and Yuugi were at his left, the taller with arms wrapped around his hikari's shoulders, Honda was standing at the foot of his bed, Joey was sitting on his bed with a hand atop one of Ryou's shins.  
  
"Welcome back, Ryou." Yuugi smiled lightly at him, everyone nodding happily.  
  
"Hello everyone." The young man smiled at everyone, reaching up as best he could to rub the sleep from his eyes. He covered up his disappointment quickly: Bakura wasn't there. "You guys didn't have to come visit me, ya know." Ryou smiled a little more brightly, hands rooting themselves to his mattress, trying to push himself up. But his arms failed from the strain- his entire body ached and it showed in the painful expression the young man made. Frowning, he tried once again, this time whimpering accidentally, the other males looking at him in worry.  
  
"Her', I'll take care of, ya." Joey leaned forward enough to pull Ryou up into a sitting position causing the young man to look down at his clasped hands sitting on his lap.  
  
"Thank you, Jou-chan." Ryou whispered lightly before looking around the room. "As I said before- you guys didn't have to come at all."  
  
"We wanted to come!" Tristan smiled.  
  
"Yeah- we needed to check up on you!" Yuugi reached out and took his hand- it was the same that Bakura had been holding for what seemed like eternities before. Ryou could automatically tell that the protective touch was never going to be imitated by anyone except his other half. "Emiru has been so worried about you, too! She would have come in today but her mom forced her to visit her sick grandmother up North." He nodded happily, Ryou's eyes shifting around the room- everyone except Yami was nodding. As it was, the young man didn't know how he could live with his friends knowing what had happened- and what he'd been doing to himself. The thought was suffocating.  
  
"Well- thank you, very much for visiting. I haven't had that much company that I've been aware of." 'Except the only person I want to see right now.' Everyone looked around at each other in their agreement.  
  
Joey frowned, looking around. "Wha's this CRAP these hospita' peopa' tryin' to feed 'ya?!" He motioned to a tray nearby, Honda, Yuugi and himself suddenly getting into a conversation of how much the food was nutritious. The time seemed appropriate- Ryou's eyes fell onto Yami's and the two starred at each other for some time. They were full of disappointment and at the same time a type of caring that he never really received from his other friends.  
  
'He knows more than anyone why I was doing it.' The thought had just barely crossed Ryou's mind when a soft click made everyone look towards the door- chocolate eyes widening as they glanced around the occupied room- and finally fell onto the softer shaped eyes that mocked his own. Bakura stood there, limp wet hair indicating he'd just gotten out of the shower, clothes looking a little like what Malik would wear. Everyone starred, Joey immediately running towards him in a threatening way.  
  
"What are 'ya doin' here, ya bastard!" The teenager spat out, Bakura's dark eyes looking at him in a blank sort of way. "'Ya shoudda never took a step inta this hospital!"  
  
"Jou-chan. calm down a little." Yuugi spoke a little timidly- he'd noticed how threatening Joey's words had started to become over time when anything related to Ryou was brought up.  
  
"No! Joey's right!" Honda joined in next to the other male, making threatening motions to the white-haired yami who looked at them with a blank expression on his face.  
  
"Bakura-san, I'm really, really sorry about them- they've just been a little jumpy when it comes." Yuugi took a step towards the man, trying to bargain with the silent person as if he'd suddenly start smacking people around- apparently he had the impression that Joey and Honda would anger him and a fight would break out. But the man wasn't paying attention, his eyes had slid back to those of his hikari's who was watching him silently from the bed. The two were oblivious to the angry motions Joey was making in response to Yuugi's trying to pull him back.  
  
Ryou didn't know what to think- it had all been a dream? He wanted to convince himself, but it seemed so hard for him. He wished desperately that the connection he thought he might have felt in his soul room had been real.  
  
/Take me from here./ Ryou's eyebrows contorted pleadingly before he looked back at his hands, his open wounds were starting to heal. Through the communication though came the crash back to reality, the two's momentary lapse of noticing everything around them disappearing instantly. Bakura's eyes flashed angry for a second as he looked down at the teenagers around him before returning to normal.  
  
Reaching out, he pushed the group out of his way- their argument stopping as they stood watching as Bakura went to the hospital bed and started pulling away the wire and tubes implanted in his hikari's body. Reaching underneath Ryou's knees and upper back, he lifted the feather-light young man who slowly wrapped his arms around his yami's neck. As he walked to the door, Bakura caught a glimpse of everyone's face- Yuugi, Honda, and Joey looking extremely shocked, and Yami- who looked mildly amused but very exceptive as well. The last thing Ryou's friends saw was a retreating Bakura, and a hikari whose eyes closed gently as smile spread gently across his face.  
  
  
  
*Guess it won't amount to much.  
  
Seems to me I've lost my touch-  
  
I'm back in line.*  
  
"You did what?" The voice on the other end of the line chuckled lightly. "Man, you just wanna get in trouble for abducting the poor kid, don't ya?" Malik sounded amused.  
  
"Didn't you hear what I said? Ryou WANTED to come!" Bakura frowned as he paced the living room, Ryou's curled body laying nearby on one of the plush couches. "Besides- even Yami didn't have a problem with it."  
  
"You suddenly care what the pharaoh thinks?" The yami stopped pacing, looking out the window with eyebrows contorted.  
  
"I don't recall this is the reason I called you, Malik." He rolled his eyes and continued pacing once again.  
  
"Gomen! I just wanted to have that clarified. anyway- yeah- I'll bring something over, alright? Is there anything specific you want?"  
  
"Soft foods- soup, puddings and a lot of juices- nothing carbonated."  
  
"Alright, got ya. I'll be over in an hour. Ja matte."  
  
"Ja." And Bakura hung up the phone, sighing heavily. He looked to the couch were his hikari rolled over away from the couch, peaceful face facing him now. Biting his bottom lip, Bakura walked slowly to the young man, crouching next to him, index finger tracing his cheekbone gently.  
  
'I've changed a lot, Ryou. I think it's almost sickening.' He frowned, the back of his hand caressing his hikari's cheek in a slow petting motion. 'If I'd have seen myself like this before, I probably would have killed myself or something.' He pulled away, sitting on the ground with his back resting against the couch. 'Why am I suddenly like this? It's not like I've never been rapped before myself. I was weak then- no wonder it happened.' His dark eyes closed slowly, he didn't want to think of the many times in his own past. 'But I guess that's why I'm like this. Ryou.' He furrowed his brows. 'I don't want you to turn like me. because you deserve so much more.'  
  
  
  
*Don't believe a thing they say- today.  
  
Turn around and walk away.  
  
Everything will go your way- I pray.  
  
Seems we all get lost amongst the pigeons and the crumbs.*  
  
His soft eyes narrowed as he watched the trembling figure in front of him on the ground. Ryou took a step forward in the bright room- he knew who it was. Slowly and softly he slid his arms around his yami as had been done to him before so many times in his soul room. He could feel the quivering subside, the man leaning into his frail touch.  
  
Closing his eyes, Ryou rested his forehead against the middle of Bakura's back- between his shoulder blades. "You never said if this was real." He whispered gently as a hand moved to his and entwined the fingers in his own.  
  
  
  
*Don't believe a thing they say- today.  
  
Turn around and walk away.  
  
Everything will go your way- I pray.  
  
Seems we all get lost amongst the pigeons and the crumbs.*  
  
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	8. Don't You Think?

Konnichiwa, minna! ^_^. I know I haven't posted anything in a week [sniffle] I know- I know- it sucks! But anyway, hopefully you guys will cheer up with this new section. And yes- writing parts to "Just Let Me Be in Love" has definitely been an inspiration ((it's the sequel to "Left of the Middle")). If you haven't seen it yet, it's a Ryou/Jounouchi, Ryou/Bakura, and Ryou/Jounouchi/Bakura fic. [taps her chin] I don't know. I always wanted to write it, so check it out sometime ^_^. That one should be updated much more often considering that I write it solely at school and I've had a lot of spare time so far!  
  
Anyway- onto responses:  
  
Shadow Queen: Calm down! ((why do I seem to have to tell people to calm down about my fics? It's crazy, that's what!)). And Yami Bakura-chan. you need to stop stressing her! She's gonna have a heart attack if you scare her like that! She won't get hacked! Besides, she voluntarily put her e- mail addy in the review, she doesn't seem to mind people wanting to contact her! [pokes Yami Bakura in the eye] stop being mean!  
  
Elys: Yes- it's gonna be continued ([sigh] after this, there's only 4 more parts. ^_^. But I still have my sequel! [dances])  
  
Renee the Rabbid Squirrel: Well. thanks for telling me about the typos and all. Being the lazy person that I am, I probably won't redo those, but I'll try to be more careful in the future ^_^. Arigatou. [hands her a chibi Yuugi plushie] thanks for reviewing my stories!  
  
Kuri Suki: hai hai! Angst! [sighs all dramatically]  
  
Hiro Yui: of course! You've been one of the people who's stuck with this story for a while now!  
  
Ryoubakurafan013: [sweatdrop] Relena Peacecraft? Gundam Wing? Lady with the big head? Everyone calls her the queen of the world? [starts to pull at her hair] GETTING IN THE WAY OF 1X2!!! [cries] why does she have to be so annoying?! Can't Duo and Heero just get it on all ready?! [falls over]  
  
Nizumo Mikomi: ^_^. Yes, Anzu is an evil slut- and I sorta do like to bash her. ((BUT BE WARNED EVERYONE- THE NEXT CHAPTER IS ABOUT *HER*- and like this one isn't?!)) And I must admit. those inventive ways of putting her into boiling oil ain't so bad. Actually pretty creative, I think! Malik. well- I think considering his character's ambitions. I think I made him too nice. Supposedly Malik is convinced by Yami Malik that Yami Yuugi killed Malik's father- so the boy wants revenge. What Malik doesn't know is that it was actually his own yami that killed his father. Sooo... yeah. ^_^. But I still think he's super kawaii! Oh! And. [gives her a chibi Heero Yuy plushie] here yah go! Now you just need to convince Ryoubakurafan013 that she should get a chibi Duo plushie and you two should have play time together!  
  
Cat: Ah. I would have to say that overall, if I had to put down the tarot cards for this, Ryou would constantly be getting the Wheel of Fortune reversed. Poor guy. well- [talks to a Ryou plushie] cheer up cuz you'll get plenty of happy time in the end, I guess!  
  
Yami Tsuki Tenshi: Dark Moon Angel, ne? I like the name! Anyway, sorry to hear that you missed the update. I'm scarred of updating sometimes cuz it's probably too much! But- I guess I like reading reviews, so I don't complain! Anyway- hope you like this chapter!  
  
  
  
Okay- so here's he dilly:  
  
This chapter SORTA focuses on Bakura and Anzu- and the next chapter is mainly Anzu. I *know* no one likes her, but she must be dealt with! For some reason, I can't decide what I'm gonna do with her- yes- suggestions are welcome, but please keep in mind that the suggestion has to actually match the story.? I don't necessarily want to kill he girl- but if it involves her getting somehow. seriously hurt (a coma anyone?) then that would be great. just make it plausible!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Gi Oh- sadly, mind you, but I guess I sorta own the story I'm writing. ((this disclaimer sounds lame.)) SO PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Okay- enough wining- let's get on with it! ^_~.  
  
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*.*: song lyrics '.': thoughts  
  
Left of the Middle: Don't You Think?  
  
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*Some people- don't worry- 'bout nothing-  
  
Don't know what's going on.  
  
I'm not one- who can't say- they're sorry-  
  
I just care what's going on.*  
  
The light haired boy smiled at the pavement underneath him; the two were walking steadily towards Domino High- his first day back since it had happened. Ryou sighed lightly, two months and he'd probably fallen behind to the point to where he'd probably failed all of his classes. He felt that it was all ready written on his transcript that he'd be held back. But for some odd reason, he wasn't worried.  
  
//Duel Monster mob, 9 o' clock// Bakura had his hands shoved into his pockets, starring at the ground as well. Ryou looked to his left, dark eyes falling onto the group of four that were approaching at the intersection.  
  
'I guess I should be happy to see them after all this time.' The young man's face softened into a smile that would be appropriate for the friends he hadn't seen for months.  
  
"Ohayo, Ryou!" Yuugi suddenly called, running ahead of the group to meet up with the young man. In a friendly manner, he hugged the taller male, laughing.  
  
"Ohayo." The young man smiled down at him. By now the entire group had met at the corner of the street- Yami showing up as well to greet the white haired teen. But while everyone had been hugging and patting Ryou on the back, Bakura had stepped away, observing the situation. Everyone was gathered around his hikari except one person; Tea was watching him intently from her spot away from the others.  
  
'What the hell does she want?' Bakura frowned, looking back at his hikari; Ryou looked happy. The young man had been bed-ridden for over a month because of the lack of professional help and now that he was able to walk normally without a limp, he was back at school. But the woman's eyes were trained on him, a persistent nagging to the yami until his defined eyes looked back at her, narrowing.  
  
Anzu smirked, looking over at Bakura's hikari, her eyes turning to pure hatred. "So you finally decided to come back, ama" Everyone looked up at her, shock written over all their faces.  
  
"What was that for, Tea?" Yuugi asked starring at her. She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"I don't see why you're making a fuss over that baka." The woman looked away with a conceited air. "He was fuckin' rapped- what a weakling! He couldn't even fight them off!" She spoke as if it was something funny and unbelievable- as if fighting had always been the option.  
  
"That's enough, Anzu!" Jounouchi barked out, causing Ryou's eyes to flicker to the blond- his eyes were narrowed in rage. Suddenly Bakura stepped in front of him, blocking Ryou's view of Tea, arms at his sides, fists clenched.  
  
//Ryou, take your friends and go to school.// Bakura was surprisingly calm as he spoke his order, Ryou looking at the profile of his face as they slowly started to go to the crosswalk. Over the months that he'd been home, he'd definitely seen differences in his yami. He wasn't as gentle and kind- natured as the Bakura in his soul room. but to some degree, Ryou could sense concern whenever he helped him from bed and led him to the bathroom for a sponge bath.  
  
He sighed, looking over at his yami once again, then his eyes went to Anzu who was watching him. 'I know I was a weakling, Tea. I think I've accepted that by now.' Ryou admitted, as he looked back to he males surrounding him. Jou had his arm around his shoulders talking excitedly about a duel monsters match he'd won, Yuugi leading the way with Yami's hand in his, Tristan talking to the pair.  
  
  
  
*There's more important things than making sure your watch looks just right-  
  
And second hand opinions don't make you look any smarter.*  
  
Bakura's eyes narrowed as she just stood there, looking down at her nails nonchalantly. A smirk played on her pink lips as her eyes shifted to his, the young man's chocolate orbs flaring in anger.  
  
"It's nice to see you again, Bakura." She licked her lips slowly.  
  
"I don't exactly wish I had the same pleasure, I'm sure." Bakura snapped back, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Oh- you've certainly gotten really grouchy in the past two months, huh? That baka must have done something to your brain. I remember when you used to get so turned on by me just being in the same room with you." Bakura's fist shook in anger and she laughed. "I guess you have a problem with hitting girls? Well- I shouldn't be that different from that sissy you call your hikari. He looks a lot like a girl, ya know?" Her eyes went to the end of the street. "See- he's all ready got Jou rapped around his finger. I can't deny that Joey's definitely got a crush on him."  
  
"Urusai!" Bakura growled out, the woman chuckling lightly. Just hearing the sound of her voice was irritating- but her disrespect was making him feel that this would be her last day alive.  
  
/Bakura- don't do anything stupid, alright?/ Ryou's mental connection was clear, Bakura's eyes shifting the corner where the young man and his friends had disappeared behind.  
  
//What do you mean, "stupid"?// His dark eyes flashed back to the woman in front of him that was slowly walking to him. He literally wanted to grab her throat and snap her neck at her words about Ryou.  
  
/Like. don't hurt her?/ Bakura frowned as the woman reached out to touch a strand of his light hair, his right hand smacking hers away.  
  
"Don't ever think you can touch me, again." He snapped again.  
  
"Oh please! You know you can't deny me." Anzu moaned softly, biting her bottom lip.  
  
'Ra! She's so pathetic!' Bakura rolled his eyes, pushing her aside lightly and walking past and away from her. He didn't need the aggravation that was Tea to ruin his day.  
  
  
  
*Don't you think, don't you think-  
  
Don't you think that maybe- it's time, yes, it's time.  
  
It's time. Time you started thinking?  
  
(And don't just- sweeten up the taste)*  
  
Her steps where quick and sharp as she started on her way to school, one arm around her waist protectively, free hand gripping her school briefcase almost to death.  
  
'What the hell was HIS problem?!' People passing her on the sidewalk could almost feel the radiation of anger around her body. 'I have a right to him- he's MINE. That baka Ryou is worthless and weak! How could anyone ever take his side?' She turned the corner to face her school. 'I'm the only one who ever gave him pleasure- and now Ryou wants to steal him away? Yeah right!'  
  
A group of males pushed past her, drawing her attention to one of them. 'Hmph. nice ass.' Tea smirked. 'Well- Bakura just has no clue what he's doing. Being with that hikari of his is the only reason why he's turned softy all of a sudden. but I bet when he sees me naked again I'll bet he's instantly turn hard.' The teenager licked her lips as she smirked, focusing on the men in front of her.  
  
  
  
*Brother- shoots brother- but meanwhile- you're fixing up your face.  
  
You're not affected by the truth unless it's on your door step-  
  
Deodorize your paradise- no point in getting crazy.*  
  
He sighed as his body lay carelessly on the couch in the living room- the same couch where he'd laid down his hikari on that night back from the hospital. Bakura's chocolate eyes closed slowly, the soft pillows feeling plush against him.  
  
'That woman is a pain in the ass.' The yami could feel a frown on his lips.  
  
/Thank you, Bakura/ The soft voice in his mind was a comfort- oddly he was starting to miss the young man he'd cared for.  
  
//For what?//  
  
/For not hurting her. she made it to school a little late- but I think that was probably her fault- she was dropped of with a few guys./  
  
//Ha. she never changes.//  
  
/Apparently not./ Bakura rolled onto his side, laying in the fetal position. The sound of his hikari was making him wish he'd convinced the young man to stay another week. /Hmph- well- I'm sorry to say, but she seems to have forgotten about you with a new student in class. I'm sorry, Bakura./ The yami closed his eyes with a smirk.  
  
//I didn't care for her- don't apologize.//  
  
/But-/  
  
//Urusai, baka. Concentrate on school.//  
  
  
  
*Don't you think- don't you think-  
  
Don't you think that maybe it's time... yes it's time.  
  
Time you started thinking-*  
  
A knock at the door made him finally wake up from his nap. Groggily, he sat up on the couch, rubbing his dark eyes. Another knock.  
  
'Ah fuck- what the hell do you want?' Bakura stood up, glancing at the circular watch on his wrist. Ryou would be home in an hour.  
  
He reached for the door, opening it with shock as he saw Anzu standing there with a smile on her face. Without another word, she pushed Bakura back into the hall, closing the door behind the two.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" Bakura's words were like venom as he gave her a threatening look.  
  
"Oh. nothing." She dropped her briefcase on the floor besides her and slowly started to undo the buttons on her uniform top.  
  
"Nothing my ass- get out!" The man picked up the briefcase and started shoving her to the door.  
  
"Don't touch me!" Tea suddenly yelled, punching him in the face.  
  
"Damn it, Anzu!" Eyes glaring. It wasn't that it hurt- but that she had even tried it that was making him angry. //Ryou- I can't guarantee this bitch won't get hurt.// He reached up and wiped the trickle of blood that ran down his lip. Bakura smiled lightly.  
  
/What do you mean?/  
  
//This bitch that suddenly decided to come to our house and start undressing.//  
  
/What?/ Ryou's mental tone was in shock and not outrage.  
  
"Will you stop talking to him..?" Tea's voice had now turned into a seductive manner, tugging at her buttons again. She'd seen brown eyes glaze over when she'd punched him- even she was surprised at being able to aim so well.  
  
'Kudos for meeee..' Anzu slipped her uniform top open, fingertips running along the skin exposed.  
  
Bakura frowned, rolling his eyes. She just didn't get it.  
  
  
  
*'bout things in the back of your head-  
  
Someone said, before you turn a blind eye.  
  
Hear a bell ring- sex sells everything-  
  
But I don't buy it, so don't try it.*  
  
"Take me, Bakura." Tea whispered, pushing her uniform top open to the air. "You know you want me back after so long." Bakura's eyes trailed down her body slowly- now his views of her being a loose woman were only re- enforced.  
  
"Get out of my house, Anzu." He spoke calmly- it didn't stop the woman one bit. She moved to him, opening the pink top even more, white lacy bra standing out.  
  
"You think that'll stop me..? You can't hide those feelings you have for me." The young woman reached out, caressing his face. Bakura's dark stare looked into her.  
  
"Let go of me." For a second she stopped- his calmness was more frightening than when he was usually upset. She smirked, continuing. "You don't seem to get the hint, huh?"  
  
"Apparently not." Anzu came closer; she wasn't going to take him seriously.  
  
"Then get this: you're a slut, Anzu. Is that clear enough?" The girl blinked several times. She actually wasn't shocked at his words, but surprised that they were so. blunt. "You spread your legs for just about anyone and frankly, I want nothing else to do with you. Now get your things and remove yourself from this house before I have to resort to means that may endanger your health." His eyes narrowed and for the first time in a long time, Tea was scarred. Bakura had often threatened her with words that were actually only meaningful through rough sex. But now, his face was calm, composure showed he was unaffected by any of her feelings, and his eyes were gazing at her as if waiting for a pathetic reply.  
  
She starred, biting her bottom lip. "Are you deaf too, or just are taking me up on the offer of causing harm to you?" Bakura crossed his arms over his chest. Anzu's face suddenly sharpened as she suddenly buttoned up her top. Mumbling something that sounded like "son of a bitch", she grabbed her briefcase and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her.  
  
//That's right- get out of here, bitch//  
  
  
  
*Sleeping in the small world- head in the sand-  
  
Better wash your hands, make a new plan.  
  
There's more important things than making sure your shoes walk just right-*  
  
The click at the door made Bakura look up from the stove; he'd been boiling potatoes for the dinner he would make that night. For some reason, he'd suddenly felt a paternal instinct of some kind as soon as Anzu had left. Almost feeling in command once again of something he felt RIGHT about taking hold of- but Ryou was now a different story. For some odd reason, he just couldn't touch the boy abusively without feeling like he was about to die inside and about to watch the hikari bleed in pain. The truth was that Bakura had tried- several times. But he couldn't do it and now it was more of a resolution to do his best to hide his even wanting to hurt Ryou.  
  
Oddly enough, Bakura didn't necessarily want to hurt Ryou because of something he'd done. It was that he felt that he could take back all the so- called "kindness" he'd sheltered the boy with and was starting to embarrass him. He'd been kind- and it wasn't sickening, but unbelievable for his character and the weird looks he was receiving from everyone were starting to weigh heavily on his mind. Bakura wanted to see that maybe he felt his reputation might be more important- but he couldn't exactly deny that he didn't want to hurt his hikari. The trains of thoughts were confusing, and he only wanted to push them out of his mind.  
  
Soft steps could be heard from the front door, through the hall, and finally the kitchen. Ryou appeared at the doorway looking slightly flustered with a red face. "Uh. you're cooking?" The silver haired boy dropped his bag into one of the kitchen table's wooden chairs and walked to the stove.  
  
"Why wouldn't I cook? I did it the entire time you were sick." Bakura's words were harsh, but it seemed the hikari didn't care.  
  
"Yes- I understand that, but I hadn't expected you to continue cooking when I went back to school." He spotted the peeled potatoes that were boiling. "I can take over if you want."  
  
"No- just go do your homework. You probably have too much to worry about."  
  
"Alright, call me if you need me."  
  
'Wow.' Ryou nodded, going to his backpack and swinging it over his shoulder. 'Even when I'm not sick- he's being.' He didn't know if he should even say the word in his mind- his feelings had only grown stronger for his yami over the months, and yet he still found it hard to admit to himself. 'Well- he wants to cook, so I won't stop him.'  
  
Bakura looked to the doorway where Ryou soon disappeared from, a small smile coming forth that he didn't realize he had. 'That's exactly why Anzu and Ryou are so different. He's only trying to help me- while Anzu only wants to help herself.' With a sigh, he looked back at the food underneath him, continuing with the meal.  
  
  
  
*Ignore reality, there's nothing you can do about it-  
  
Ignore reality, there's nothing you can do about it-  
  
Ignore reality, there's nothing you can do about it-  
  
The clothes you wear don't make the man-  
  
It's just another party.*  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Sorry to say, but next chapter is gonna be about Anzu ((don't worry- if I get enough suggestions, maybe it'll turn out "good" ^_^.)) 


	9. Impressed

[sigh] ah. another week-long wait! GOMEN! I was under a writing block- and finals- and studying- and my parents- and well-.. [pulls at her hair] it's over now, so it's all good! The good things that came from this week were: 1)Finishing my Ceres collection! ((finally! After a year- I finished buying the series! [cries happy tears])); 2)Getting the next Ceres Graphic Novel ((I only have two, but hell- I love collecting manga. it takes forever cuz I will ONLY buy the books in order- no skipping around!)); 3)Started collecting the X/1999 Graphic Novels ((I know they've been out for forever- so sue me! Eek- wait! Don't!)); 4)Watched "Catch Me If You Can" ((it was. ALRIGHT.)); 4)Finally tracked down someone who recorded the eppie of Yu Gi Oh from Jan 18th and watched it ((I missed it?!?!?!))  
  
So enough about my boring life- responces!:  
  
Lady Pegasus: [pulls out lyrics booklet] the line is really "Hear a bell ring- sex sells everything". o.o but you actually paid attention to that line! CRAZY!  
  
FluffCat: -_-. Thanks for the spelling corrections ((god- I suck at grammar stuff! .))  
  
Slice: This chapter is the best that will come to her actually getting. burned? I dunno- other people get charred to a crisp in this chapter- but she doesn't.  
  
Anubis: Wow- that's the first time I've ever heard Anzu referred to as a "zit"! [laughs] maybe I'll use that as something Bakura uses sometime. maybe Malik. hmph- do I have permission?  
  
Skeamer-Dreamer: ^_^. Most of your wishes come true- except the feelings part. -_-. Nothing good happens till the last two chapters! ((and even as the author, it's getting ME pissed! .))  
  
Ryoubakurafan013: [sigh] you're such a critic, huh? ^_^. [pulls out all previous chapters and starts to scan them] first: I haven't promised there would be shonen ai- I believe I said slight lemon in the first chapter- and in the summary- but no promises! [sigh] I know- it sucks- I hate it cuz I want this fic to get on with it- but yes- it's the plot- it's the CD! I can't put in any. scenes or shonen ai without it making the story sorta. blah. I dunno- I get all critical of my own fics, it's not even funny! It HAS to follow a plot or else I feel like it's all crap- SOOO... I decided to stick as much to the songs as I could without getting all lost. which is leading to finally saying stuff in the last two chapters- GOMEN NASAI! [glomps on her] Oh- and yes- Relena is WAY to "nice" [cough] she's a bitch [cough] for her own good. Anyone who says Relena and Heero belong together deserves a slap across the face! But- that's great that I introduced you, I guess. [holds a sign behind her that reads "QUATRE FOREVER!"] hehehehehe..  
  
Oh- and for all those who didn't get a response- SORRY- THIS PART WILL BE HELL-A LONG IF I RESPOND TO EVERYONE- BUT THANK YOU SO MUUUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!! ((you're the reason why I'm almost at 100 reviews!)) [kisses them all] ^_~.  
  
Okay- this fic is. about Tea. A little. Because everyone was sorta regretting it- I decided I would tone her down a bit. there's still everyone else- but she seems to have just a stupid mind that's all. SHE DOESN'T DIE. I just need to put that up for everyone to know. Um. because I've just got my Ceres movie- as well as the X Graphic Novel, it's sorta. obvious ( ?) that their influences are in here. Bakura and a purple aura- using a force blast similar to what Kamui uses in X. [shrug] I figured it fit!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ceres, X/1999, or Yu Gi Oh. I know- pathetic- but I guess I'm dealing as best I can! .  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
*.*: song lyrics '..': thoughts  
  
Left of the Middle: Impressed  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
*Sweet confetti out looking for a savior.  
  
Finding it hard to break the chain-  
  
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.*  
  
"Hey, Anzu." A few women called to her through the dark night as she made her way through the streets- other females who walked in the night in search of more than just pleasure.  
  
"Hey, Marla." The teenager stopped, looking at one of the three women standing at the corner of one of the darker streets.  
  
"You workin' tonight?" Another one asked, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Nah- just needed to take a walk." Tea looked up at the cloudy sky. "But I need you guys' advice."  
  
"Hmph?"  
  
"Bakura's starting to turn for that stupid boy he's always with." She sighed.  
  
"That cute one that looks just like him?"  
  
Tea rolled her eyes. "Cute one? Whatever. Anyway, nothing I'm doing is turning him on like before- I'm starting to get worried I won't get him back." The girls looked at her with eyebrows raised.  
  
"Well- maybe you should look for a different guy.?" The one that had stayed silent finally spoke. Anzu starred at her angrily.  
  
"What are you talking about? He's one of the best guys I've ever had do me, and I don't want to give him up?"  
  
"You don't have to get all defensive, you know? But- maybe she's right- maybe you should move to some other guy all ready." Marla looked over at a man that was passing them by, moaning lightly in his direction. He looked at her with disinterest and continued walking. "We'll be here later, baby." She moaned again as the man continued walking away.  
  
"I don't want any other guy!"  
  
"You gained nothing from him, Anzu. You got. ditched- just get over it. it's not gonna kill you." The teenager glared, suddenly turning on her heel and walking away.  
  
"See ya later, Anzu." Merle called, the teenager walking away in anger. She did gain something, right?  
  
  
  
*Ice cream beauty acting on her best behavior-  
  
Finding it hard to bite her tongue-  
  
Feeling so old as the night is young.*  
  
Her eyes shifted angrily to the boy directly diagonally to the right of her- Ryou sat with a smile on his face as Joey told a joke, using his hands to show proportion, the two laughing lightly.  
  
'I want to strangle him so bad.' Anzu's hand gripped her pencil almost to the breaking point. 'I ha- '  
  
"Hey, Tea." A male's voice made her look up at Yuugi who was leaning on her desk.  
  
"Hey." She ran her fingers through her dark hair, looking up at the tri- colored haired boy. "What is it?"  
  
"Well- we were all planning to have a party on Saturday- you wanna come?" Her eyes shifted to Ryou who had a smile across his face- a tinge of anger in Anzu's eyes- but she smiled nonetheless.  
  
"I'll go- it's fine."  
  
"Oh." Yuugi had followed her eyes to the silver-haired male. "I just don't know if you'd be comfortable with Ryou and Bakura there with you."  
  
"Tsk tsk, Yuugi. I'm cool with the two being there." Her lips flashed a small smile, but internally she was starting to wish she could poke Yuugi's eyes out. The teenager looked at her for a moment with uncertainty then just nodded.  
  
"Good, I guess." And he turned to Jounouchi and Ryou, going to the two apparently saying that Tea would be coming along. Ryou's chocolate eyes flashed in her direction then back at Yuugi. Everyone nodded and Tea looked down at a note she was writing.  
  
'Ryou is going to pay for what he did to me.'  
  
  
  
*Six foot leaning on a lizard's chest;  
  
Two red dragons ironed on his vest;  
  
All that money you deserve the best-  
  
I'm impressed- I'm impressed- I'm impressed.*  
  
The loud music blared into her ears as she swayed to the sounds- her eyes were closed as she held the drink over her head. Bodies moved around her and she really didn't even seem to care who groped her breasts or not. The female had a blank expression plastered on her face as she managed to both dance and walk through the living room to the doorway of the kitchen. The house wasn't unfamiliar to her- Anzu had slept with one of the teenagers who lived there- the person who had offered up his house for the party. A crash from the other side of the home caused cheers, but the woman didn't pay attention.  
  
"Hey, Anzu!" A few boys came up to her as she looked down at them nonchalantly. One was wearing a jacket- and compared to the yellow spaghetti strap belly shirt she was wearing, the boy looked out of place. He opened the jacket where an inner pocket held a silver flask. "Want some?" Tea shrugged, holding out her lemonade which the boys promptly spiked. She smirked at one of them, and then turned and left them drinking from the flask as she finally entered the kitchen.  
  
"It's great that you're not hitting him anymore, Bakura. I think its done Ryou a lot of good." The woman walked into the end of a conversation- all eyes shifting to her.  
  
'Uh.' Anzu's own eyes shifted from face to face- Yuugi, Malik, Bakura. They were all starring at her in a partial circle, drinks in hand. Her face turned from surprise to her usual attempt at sexual hunger. "Hey, Bakura." She smiled seductively at him, licking her lips. All of the boys starred- Yuugi's face turning to a disapproving look, Malik only raising his brows at her in disbelief. Bakura merely took a gulp of his drink, looking at her as if she was a fly he just couldn't get rid of.  
  
But Tea was hurt- how little he wanted to even have her in his presence. "Is there something you want?" Bakura spoke in a way that was only too familiar to how he'd acted when he'd first came from the Millennium Ring. All she could do was stare.  
  
'So it's come down to this, huh?'  
  
  
  
*What you've got isn't all that you've been given.  
  
Changing your body like you change your jeans-  
  
Nothing is ever what it seems.*  
  
The two other males gave looks that were unique to their characters as they walked past her giving her chills. Yuugi's was of disappointment that could make anyone fall apart from guilt. while Malik's was his personal "I-hate- your-guts-you-piece-of-low-life-maggot-shit" that he seemed to be reserved only for HER.  
  
Anzu and Bakura were left alone in the kitchen, Bakura looking at her expectantly while Anzu took another drink. "So you're not beating that little prissy anymore? How disappointing, Bakura."  
  
"I don't think that's any of your fuckin' business."  
  
"Hell yeah it's my business! I'm starting to go beyond hating him because he doesn't have anymore life threatening bruises. Can't you just hit him once for my sake, baby?" She gave him a sweet look- if it even had the right to be called "sweet". It was more like that a beggar would give for more change.  
  
Bakura's eyes narrowed, pushing past her on his way to the door. But before he could leave, Tea reached out and grabbed the back of his black and white stripped shirt, causing him to stop.  
  
"Please, Bakura." Her voice was barely audible. "Please- I need you more than ever. I haven't been able to get fucked so good since you- you're the only one who pleases me.!"  
  
"That's not my problem." He attempted to walk but her grip increased.  
  
"I hate that hikari of yours- you don't know what I could do to him." Her voice was much more threatening. The yami turned to look down at her, eyebrows contorted into a glare.  
  
"Lay one hand on my light and you'll never live to get another dick to fuck you." Her mouth dropped open in shock- his words had been sharp and threatening before he suddenly turned on his heel and stormed out.  
  
  
  
*Something tells me it's a marriage made in heaven.  
  
Stealing your look from a magazine-  
  
Playing the part of a movie scene.*  
  
Her legs went numb underneath her as she suddenly dropped to the tile floor- starring at the doorway into the living room. The song was changing once again- another crash- another cheer. Dark eyes starred blankly at the doorway.  
  
'He actually loves that son of a bitch.' Tears were forming in the back of her eyes as the red plastic cup in her hand fell to the ground, liquid spreading across the ground around her. 'He loves Ryou- Ryou- Ryou.' Her teeth were beginning to grind together, her body starting to shake in anger. 'Ryou- he'll-' Angry tears rushed over her pale cheeks.  
  
"He'll pay for stealing Bakura!" Her hands quickly reached to a cell phone at her side as she dialed a number with jabbing fingers. "Hey- It's Anzu- I need you guys to come over."  
  
  
  
*Six foot leaning on a lizard's chest;  
  
Two red dragons ironed on his vest.  
  
All that money you deserve the best,  
  
I'm impressed- I'm impressed- I'm impressed.*  
  
Anzu smirked at the three tall males at the front door, all of them with a smirk of their own as she greeted them with a indication of her finger for them to follow.  
  
"So who's the bitch?" One of them asked as they made their way through the crowded house, the party still raging on. She stopped, crossing her arms as they stood at the doorway of the lounge; inside stood almost the entire "group". Yami and Yuugi sitting on one of the couches cuddling with each other; Jounouchi and Honda arguing over a move that Joey had just done in their dueling game with Ryou and Malik watching; Bakura leaning against a wall overlooking the entire room with a thoughtful expression.  
  
"That one." Anzu motioned to Ryou who was suppressing a giggle at Jounouchi's outraged shouts.  
  
"That one?" One of the males behind her talked in shock.  
  
"Oh- he's a good one." Another spoke, his voice going a little sensual.  
  
"What- you've seen him around before?" Tea turned and glanced at them- their eyes seemed to be glued to the silver-haired hikari.  
  
"Have we seen him.?!" The tallest laughed, the others smirking. "We had fun with him a few months ago."  
  
"So you're the ones." Anzu laughed. "Well- you really did do a number on him. he couldn't walk for two weeks."  
  
"Ah well- we try." Another spoke with an air of self appraisal.  
  
"But that one gave Wall here got a bloody nose. " Two laughed, the one apparently named "Wall" glaring at the two.  
  
"Ha. well- whatever- I want it done now- outside or whatever. I'll send him out." The men all smirked as she handed them each a hundred dollar bill before they turned and left to go outback.  
  
Sighing, Anzu stepped into the room, a fake smile on her face. "Hey, Ryou." The boy looked up- his yami doing the same. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Yami and Yuugi looked over at the young man as he looked around for any sign of approval. Sighing, he walked to her- the woman leading him out of the room and starting to go through the crowded house once again.  
  
"Yes, Tea?" Ryou followed her- she was leading him to the back door. Privacy he guessed.  
  
"Well- I wanted to apologize for everything. I think- I think that things went really out of whack between the two of us." She talked in sincerity- at least he hoped.  
  
"I agree. Maybe we could work it out." 'Yeah right.' The two stepped out into the chilly night, Anzu sighing.  
  
"Yeah- I mean- you've been through so much- and well. THEY wanted to apologize as well."  
  
"They?" Ryou looked around- his chocolate orbs falling upon three figures that stepped into the light in front of him. They didn't exactly look familiar- but as their faces were illuminated, he remembered. "Uh." His eyes widened; he took a step back into Tea. The hikari looked up- his face showed outmost fear, but hers was of mischief and malice combined. "Ap- apologize?" He stuttered out, Anzu smirking.  
  
"Yeah- apologize. They never were able to take their time with you before Malik showed up, ya know? They want to apologize for leaving so suddenly."  
  
"Hmph. your ass was so tight, pretty-boy. We all want to make sure we take our time with you this time." The middle one spoke, Ryou starting to shake.  
  
'No- not again.' He tried to step away once again but one of the men lunged at him, holding onto his arm. Anzu took a step back and leaned against the back door into the yard, watching interestedly.  
  
"Let go!" Ryou tried to pull away, but the man was gripping him to the point to where bruises were starting to form on his wrists.  
  
"Ah. not this time." Another walked up, sliding his tanned hand under Ryou's dark blue t-shirt, stroking his chest.  
  
"No- LET GO!" He kicked the man in the shin, a hand letting go of his arm. Ryou turned and tried to run, but he was tackled too quickly, falling to the ground with strong men starting to completely overpower him. "Nooooo!" He was rolled over, his arms flinging in all directions as he tried to make contact with one of the men's faces once again.  
  
"Not this time, bitch." His hands were held above his head, pressure for bruising applied.  
  
'No- no-' Hands started to pull up his shirt. He squinted his eyes shut, trying to roll underneath the man who was straddling him. /BAKURAAA!/  
  
  
  
*Everyday is like your birthday.  
  
But the candles burning, don't you see- don't you see?*  
  
A pounding on the back door made Tea look up- but not the men who had Ryou shivering and crying underneath them. His clothing was tattered and thrown away- the only thing that was left was the Millennium Ring as well as his boxers- skin shivering from his exposure to the cold temperature as well as their heated touch against his flesh.  
  
"Go away!" She shouted through the door, but the pounding didn't stop.  
  
"Open the damn door, you slut!" Malik shouted through the door- there was more pounding. She had placed a board to block the doorway from swinging outward.  
  
"Damn it- I can't take this anymore!" Bakura could be heard- and for a second it was silent- then a light gleamed from the Millennium Ring- Bakura standing next to the group of four males on the ground, anger evident on his face.  
  
"Ba- Bakura..!" Ryou managed to cry out as he shivered again, the other's grips on him not loosening.  
  
"Get away from him, you bastards." A light purple haze appeared around the yami's body, silver hair starting to float upward as his eyes flashed a dark purple.  
  
The men were paralyzed in their fear though- they still couldn't understand why a man appeared- from a RING.  
  
"I warned you." Bakura's eyes narrowed, his threatening instincts taking over. Grabbing the nearest one by the neck, he squeezed- the man suddenly clasping the hand around his neck in an attempt to free himself. His legs kicked- face turning a strange shade of magenta.  
  
"Let him go, you fucker!" One of the men suddenly yelled, the two free men suddenly jumping forward in an attempt to get their friend back. This only further angered Bakura- he snapped the neck of the man in his grip easily, turning to the other men, purple outline growing darker.  
  
"Bakura." Ryou cried out as he shivered away from the corpse that lay besides him. "Don't."  
  
"They're the men I saw, Ryou!" Bakura's eyes were basically dark purple- hand going out and a strong force blowing both of the men into the fence- they were crying. "I will never let them get away with what they've done to you!" His voice was shaking- but his open hand faced the men still- another blast of purple energy exploding. The scarred men tried to cover their faces- but the energy broke through easily- their flesh melting on contact- their skeleton surviving long enough to be seen for an instant before trickling down into another mound of dirt on the ground.  
  
The yami was breathing deeply as he slowly put his arm down, anger still coursing through him. His eyes fell to Ryou who was huddling still near the dead man- then to Anzu who was starring with wide eyes.  
  
"You.." His anger was rising once again. "You did this to him!"  
  
"No- Bakura- no!" Tea shouted desperately, she was trying to take off the piece of wood that barred the door behind her.  
  
"I've had enough!" Bakura's eyes flashed again, hand going up once again.  
  
"No- Bakura- I didn't!" Anzu was starting to scream at Bakura who's eyes were flashing the dangerous purple. Energy continued to gather at the yami's open hand, a growl growing in his throat.  
  
"No- Bakura!" He felt a body pressed against his back- a light body that only meant his hikari was hugging him. "No- don't do it!" He was crying. "She may have done it to me- but don't kill her!" Bakura's eyes were turning back to their normal brown- but they still never wavered from their spot on Anzu's face. "Onegai." He suddenly whispered, the yami's arm going down automatically. "Onegai."  
  
"Hikari." The man whispered, Anzu taking a deep breath believing she was free. "I'm not willing to let people that have hurt you." His eyes flashed again. "LIVE!" The area around Anzu immediately exploded- the woman screaming from her place on the pavement, huddling into a small ball. Ryou's grip on him tightened- and the explosion died down, slabs of concrete falling around the body of Tea which lay on the area that hadn't blown up.  
  
"Bakura." A voice came from behind the two- Malik and Yami looking at him from the other side of the back yard- apparently they'd gone through the house and around the back of the property to enter. Their faces were solemn as they inspected the damage. Charred remains against the wooden fence, body with an oddly resting head on the ground, Tea laying on the ground in front of the tomb robber- an almost naked Ryou hugging his yami from behind.  
  
  
  
*Six foot leaning on a lizard's chest;  
  
Two red dragons ironed on his vest.  
  
All that money you deserve the best-  
  
I'm impressed- I'm impressed- I'm impressed.*  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 


	10. Intuition

Okay- let me just let you all get this straight so you understand this: I DON'T LIKE THIS SECTION. There- I said it- I SAID IT! . I hate how it turned out, and frankly, I have no idea what its point is. ((This is where I agree with ryoubakurafan013 and say that there NEEDS to be some shonen ai.. [cries] damn it!)) Actually- there is a point: going through the next song on the CD. Um. but- there are only 2 more tracks left- the two where feelings come out, and it'll probably take me a week to write "City" because 1) I like that song. a lot. And 2) it's important. So please hang on people! Um. yeah. responses!:  
  
Anubis: Interesting poem! [laughs lightly] but thanks for letting me take that "name" for Anzu- I'm gonna either try and put it in the next 2 chapters- and if it doesn't show up in one of those two, I guarantee it'll show up in "Just Let Me Be in Love" ^_^. Thank you! ((and again- kudos for the poem))  
  
St djahskahl: [stares] Tea/Bakura/Ryou? [eyes go all wide] WTF ARE THOSE PEOPLE THINKING?!?!?! [falls over]  
  
Bunnychan: Gomen nasai. the bitch ain't dead.  
  
Phoenixfeather: Aren't Ryou/Bakura fics just a LITTLE predictable as is? [taps her chin]  
  
Ryoubakurafan013: Well- apology accepted- I felt a little offended at first- but it's a review after all and I've gotta be ready! [huggles her all lovingly] thanks for being honest, though! And my "blahness"- you're too nice to me saying that my stories are good! . no one ever believes me when I think I did a horrible job! And Tea out of the picture? Well- just make sure to read the general note after all the responses are over.And before I forget- HOW CAN YOU JOKE AT RELENA/QUATRE?!?! [screams like Godzilla in rage] roooaaaaaarrrrrr!!!!  
  
Renee the Rabid Squirrel: Yeah- the "Left of the Middle" CD is pretty damn good. -_-. Too bad she was like. a 2 hit wonder, man. Just when she's coming back- she dies! .  
  
Okay- ANZU IS *NOT* DEAD! A few people assumed she was- and she is NOT. Um. some of you also get mad because of something Ryou decides to do for Anzu- but don't get angry. Ryou doesn't seem the type to hold a grudge- so yeah. ^_^. Anyway- onto this STUPID part of the story that sucks!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
*.*: song lyrics '.': thoughts  
  
Left of the Middle: Intuition  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
*Everybody's been in my face-  
  
Tellin' me I gotta make a change.  
  
All I ever hear day and night is- "You better hurry up and get a life".  
  
I need some direction- 'cause the clock is ticking away.*  
  
The falling blossoms slid across the clean pavement as they strolled through the park- oddly enough, it had been Malik's idea to take a walk that night. His purple eyes were gazing at the plentiful sakura that littered the trees around the two.  
  
"This is something we always missed in Egypt." He mumbled as a slight breeze swirled his sand-colored hair across his back and onto his shoulder. Then out of nowhere, his suggestion came. "Maybe you should bring Ryou out here." Bakura's eyes shifted to the teenager who had his hands in his pockets, eyes studying the stars and cherry blossoms alike. "He'd like this sort of thing."  
  
"Can you really picture me even out here with Ryou?" the yami intended the question to be rhetorical, but Malik ignored that.  
  
"You came out here with me- why should Ryou be any different?" He sighed. "If you ever intend to tell Ryou how you feel, you better get on with it. Knowing you, you'll blow it off till it conveniences you."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bakura snapped. His friend's words seemed to poke at what he'd been going over in his mind for the 2 weeks after the party involving the "unfortunate" deaths of Ryou's attackers. That night Ryou had hugged him with no fear for his safety at all- only wanting the yami to listen. When they went home, the hikari had merely given him a thankful look for not killing Anzu before going to bed.  
  
"It means stop fuckin' putting it off because Ryou is starting to think you're going soft for someone else." Malik snapped back as if his response was the only obvious one.  
  
"Going soft- that's a new way of putting it." Bakura tried to ignore the message of the last remark.  
  
"Yeah- going soft. Even the pharaoh sees it." This earned a glare from the silver-haired male.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Oh stop fuckin' denying it. You know you are and don't keep trying to lie to me." Malik looked back towards the sky. Although their words seemed to always have a harsh tone to them, neither took the attitude seriously. "Ever since you left Ryou, you started changing. And frankly, I think it was for the better." Bakura flinched. He knew he was changing- but was it THAT obvious? He hated the thought.  
  
"The better, ne?"  
  
"Yeah- the better. Bakura, everyone is all ready getting disappointed that you haven't even made a move yet. "  
  
"Everyone?" The yami wasn't particularly shocked- but it sounded as if this would be something Malik was making up on the spot. He didn't think want that other people were forming an opinion on something that was only his concern.  
  
"Well." Malik frowned, he knew that Bakura automatically caught his bluff. "Well- me. I'M disappointed that you haven't made any effort to finally tell Ryou how you feel."  
  
"How would you know how I feel about that weakling?" His comment seemed only an effort to recover the old him that he knew he'd lost over the months.  
  
"Urusai, Bakura." Malik frowned, waving his comment off. "I've known you long enough to tell- alright? Just- do something- ANYTHING. I'm sick of watching Ryou get his hopes up and constantly having to wait. It's like I'm going through this fuckin' roller coaster too!"  
  
  
  
*Then a friend of a friend of mine says I've really been on his mind-  
  
And wants to go out and check out what this feelin's about.  
  
Says we have a deep connection- well it sure is news to me.  
  
And all I can say-*  
  
"Bakura?" Ryou asked a bit cautiously as the yami and hikari walked towards Domino High.  
  
"Yes, Ryou?" The man was starring at a cloud that drifted wistfully across the pale blue sky. The hikari looked at his face, he seemed very self absorbed into his thoughts.  
  
"Um. would you mind coming into class with me before you leave? It'll only take a minute." Bakura glanced down at his light, nodding before looking back up to the sky once again.  
  
Soon their movement led them to the school; Ryou was leading the way through the halls of the building- there weren't that many people that early before classes even started. He stopped at a door in the main hall, opening it and showing his yami inside.  
  
"Hey, Ryou!" A female voice called- Emiru. The teenage girl smiled lightly at the young man as she walked up to the pair. "I hadn't expected you this early!"  
  
The hikari smiled, bowing in greeting. "I figured it would be better if you guys got more time together." He stood upright, smiling at her. The boy turned to his yami, motioning to the young woman. "Bakura- this is Emiru, Emiru- Bakura." Bakura's dark eyes looked up and down the young woman- he'd seen her kissing Ryou. She had a smile on her face as she reached out to shake his hand- which the yami reluctantly did.  
  
//Why did you introduce me to this woman?// Bakura shoved his hands back into his pockets, looking around the classroom where several small groups of people were scattered about over books and paper.  
  
/Because, Bakura./ The hikari smiled up at Bakura. /She wants to go on a date with you./  
  
  
  
*Is intuition tells me- how to live my day-  
  
Intuition tells me- when to walk away.  
  
Could have turned left- could have turned right-  
  
But I ended up here bang  
  
In the middle of real life.*  
  
Her light hand gripped his as they made their way through the darkened city of Domino- the shopping district illuminating their faces. Bakura was starring straight ahead- it wasn't that he didn't like the teenager's company- it just was that she was too much like Ryou. He couldn't seem to get over the fact that the two of them acted EXTREMELY similar. Same conversational topics, stance, attitude- if he hadn't been used to the personality, he would have all ready assumed weakness; Ryou's mock presence was taunting.  
  
'This doesn't feel right.' Bakura sighed; the young woman had stopped in order to look at the window display of a dress store. Her eyes were shimmering in the light as she examined the manikins. 'She only reminds me of Ryou.' Emiru turned with a smile on her face, motioning to a white, knee- length sun dress with pale green flowers stitched along the borders.  
  
"Can I try it on?" The shorter girl asked pleadingly, Bakura nodding somewhat in acknowledgement. He followed her in but remained silent as she went to the register where the lady behind the counter directed her to a rack of similar dresses. Emiru smiled in his direction, pulling out a dress and going to the fitting room.  
  
'She's nice. I guess. But-' He looked back outside. The only reason he'd accepted her date was at his hikari's request.  
  
  
  
*Then another one says she'd do anything to get ahead.  
  
She doesn't care if she has to scratch and claw to get to the door.  
  
She wants her 15 minutes of fame- and 20 would be nice.  
  
But I guess it's her life-*  
  
Ryou sighed lightly, placing a "Get Well" card and single light blue rose on the nightstand besides the sleeping body. His face looked sadly at the calm expression on Anzu's face- she hadn't seemed to make any progress since the incident- all she did was sleep.  
  
/I'm starting to feel a little sorry for her./ The teenager crossed his arms as he watched her breathing in and out using a respirator.  
  
//Don't.// Bakura stood beside him, hands in his pockets, starring down at the young woman's face. Again that feeling of how she could have actually turned out- resurfaced. It seemed she had potential to be a better person- or as best a person that a sex- starved woman could be. But did he actually really want to think that? The yami frowned- she had tried to trick his hikari into being attacked- his sympathy instantly disappeared. She'd been rightfully punished.  
  
/Thank you for coming with me to see her- I know you wouldn't have if I hadn't asked./ Ryou turned to the door, opening it and stepping into the hospital's clean hallway.  
  
//You asked me to.// Bakura cast one last glance at the female before following him into the hall. She'd probably hate him when she woke up.  
  
/Yeah, but./ The two of them headed for the exit- Ryou hugging his light cream colored sweater to him and starring at the ground, Bakura with hands in his pants pockets, starring straight ahead.  
  
//Shut up, Ryou.// He didn't want to think about her anymore; when she woke up, he didn't even want to celebrate her arrival once again.  
  
  
  
*Cuz intuition tells me that I'm doing fine. Intuition tells me- when to draw the line. Could have turned left- could have turned right- But I ended up here bang- In the middle of real life.*  
  
The smaller male smiled at him from the door, shutting it behind him as he walked away- going to school. Bakura merely starred after the door as Ryou left; he went to the living room soon afterward. Ryou had started walking to school on his own once again; he seemed very confident when trying to convince Bakura that he wouldn't be in any danger- but the yami couldn't help but question the hikari's judgment. As it was, Bakura had to make sure his concern was at least somewhat hidden. Asking saying things like "How will I know that group of friends of yours won't trade you off to be attacked again?" and "Do you know how long it takes to get from place to place? You're to keep a tight schedule and never break it", the yami had managed to use his old affirmative and commanding power over the young man to at least keep his freedom on a tight leash.  
  
But Bakura didn't mind how concerned he was for the young man- if anything- he was somewhat comfortable with it; it seemed that Malik's words were starting to sink in. His friend had continued to try to encourage but to no avail, yet somehow, Bakura was coming to the realization on his own. He actually appreciated the situation he was in.  
  
Ryou would come home at 4 after he'd been to school and Yuugi's house- the young man would cook for the two- taking a shower afterwards as Bakura cleaned the kitchen. He'd do his homework into the night, going to bed as soon as he was done. Their lives consisted of the unchanging schedule, and it pleased the yami. No longer did anger and threats continue to pour from his lips and fill the hikari's ears- the two were somehow working together.  
  
And as it was, Ryou seemed happy with it. He didn't question Bakura though- and it pleased the yami that he wasn't plagued by his new actions. The man was content- to some extent.  
  
*Should have turned left, but I turned right-  
  
And I ended up here- and I feel alright.  
  
You're making it hard for me- can't find the real you-  
  
You think that I can't see- what it is- that you're trying to do.?*  
  
The two sat in silence- Ryou eating a salad, Bakura drinking hot tomato soup. Their meals were always in silence which were much to the yami's appreciation. As it was, he viewed eating as only a reminder of his mortal origins and he rarely found something he actually enjoyed. But he didn't mind- the company of his hikari was comforting. They wouldn't see each other for the rest of the evening.  
  
"Emiru wants to go out with you again." Ryou finally spoke as he neatly put his fork atop his small almost empty bowl of salad.  
  
"Why?" Bakura swirled the liquids inside his own bowl, being reminded of the girl.  
  
"She likes you a lot." The hikari looked up at him- Bakura couldn't ignore the blank expression. He could sense that there was something being hidden from him instantly. "She'd like for you to call her tonight."  
  
'Why does he want me to.?' Bakura looked back at the red juices in the bowl in his hands. 'I don't want to go out with her- anywhere.' The idea of turning her down was now rolling through his mind- which would be the easiest way to do it?  
  
"She's. nice." The yami couldn't help but pause at his "appraisal" of the girl. Ryou's eyes widened, then he looked back down at his bowl, picking it up. He looked somewhat hurt- but the emotion vanished from his face.  
  
"She is. Her phone number is on the fridge." Then in a hurried way, he stood, dropping his plate into the sink and disappearing from the kitchen.  
  
'Why did he.?' Bakura starred across the table to where his hikari had been sitting. 'I should have just told him that I didn't want her like that.' He sighed- Ryou seemed to be trying extremely hard lately to get the two together- almost as hard as Malik was trying to get him to tell Ryou how he felt. 'Why's he trying to shove her in my face.?'  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Oh- and before I forget- I'm providing a free e-mail service ((if anyone's interested.))! Anyway- you can get your own malik-mail.zzn.com address- and the zzn.com service ain't that bad ((of course- I have it!)). Um. here's the sign up page if you'd like to look into it:  
  
http://www.malik-mail.zzn.com 


	11. City

o.O Did I really make Emiru THAT dislikable?! WOW! That shocked even ME! I hadn't intended anyone to dislike her. well- not that much anyway! Well, for those new- found Emiru haters ((I guess.?)) this chapter doesn't necessarily make her look any better, but it gets her out of your hair!  
  
Anyway, responces!:  
  
YUUGILOVER3: [blink blink] The CD is called "Left of the Middle". and the artist is Natilie Imbruglia. -_-.  
  
FIREDRAGON97: Yeah- Ryou is one strange dude- well- not THAT strange. I'm just one strange author ^_^. And there really isn't anything you have to understand about it. too much- there's a line in this section that tells why he did it- towards the end. Hopefully that answers your question!  
  
RYOUBAKURAFAN013: I told you your review was fine! Woman, calm down! And Quatre and Relena DO NOT belong together. [haves a Trowa/Quatre flag around] Trowa and Quatre are so freakin' cute together. I used to write a lot of 3x4 fics, but I don't anymore. maybe I should again.? [taps her chin] get me back in the GW mood again! And about Tea living. well- it's not in Ryou's nature to have anyone want to die! He's too nice to let something like that happen- so of course the bitch lived. ((and don't call him a poor hypocrite because his attackers died- I think Bakura would have killed them no matter what, anyway)). And I can't blame you for having doubts about this story in the first place! I was a little unsure on how I was gonna write it since it was my first YGO! Fic and all.. [sigh]  
  
ITSAME: Yeah- X/1999 is awesome [drool] KAMUI-CHAAAAAANNNN!!! ^_^. ((and I feel your pain on the manga and DVD issue. grrr...!))  
  
ALYIA: I'm glad you agree that the last chapter sucked [frown] I really didn't want to write it at all!  
  
MIRAKAI NO TENSHI NEKO-JIN: You downloaded all of the songs.? 0_0 that takes guts, man- that takes guts! I dunno. well- hopefully the songs reflect the mood of the story and everything! [smile] I actually like this track ((City)) a lot. Slow tempo, but still very good.  
  
ANUBIS: Emiru liking Bakura. hmph. opposites attract I guess! ((not much can be said about Bakura's side though -_-.))  
  
DARK LADY SETSUNA: Yeah- they stop ^_^.  
  
RENEE THE RABID SQUIRREL: [sigh] shonen ai fluff. [blush] not this chapter, but in the conclusion! ((And yeah- I'm hoping to put some yaoi stuff in "Just Let Me Be in Love" soon- I KNOW I KNOW I've been putting that story off, but that one is currently in my "writer's block" category. grrrr!))  
  
LITTLEST KITTEN: ^_^. Thanks for signing up for Malik-mail! The thing just pissed me off cuz it ruined my beautiful picture! It took me a while to mess with it, then it ruined the colors! ((okay- so I have PSP and it didn't take me THAT long- but still!)) DAMN THOSE .GIFs!!!  
  
CRYSTALDRAGON98: Jumping up and down? Hmph. [taps her chin] honto? I don't even jump and down. I just giggle madly. oh well! Different strokes for different folks! And anyone between Ryou and Bakura? Yeah- I agree to some extent, but I really didn't want THAT many people to hate Emiru!  
  
  
  
Um, um, ummmmm... what to say about this chapter. It took me longer to write than I thought- IT WAS SO HARD! But, I think it turned out pretty good. Bakura and Ryou finally admit to themselves their feelings and they know why it's sorta come down to that. BUT THE FINAL CHAPTER IS NEXT! I know, I know- that's sad and depressing- this was my first Yu Gi Oh fic and it was a success ((about 130 reviews during the time I wrote it?! JEEZE!!)), but sadly, it must come to some sorta close. Soooo... I'll be looking for input at the end of the story so at least I'll have some direction to work on for "Just Let Me Be in Love". I really have no idea where the hell I'm going so- HELP!  
  
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*.*: song lyrics '.': thoughts  
  
  
  
Left of the Middle: City  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
*Had a dream- had a drowning dream- I was- in a river of pain.  
  
Only difference this time I wasn't callin' out your name, yeah.*  
  
"Bakura-chan." Her voice rang softly through the darkness- a spot light fading into view. Bakura stood there- arms wrapped around a small female who sunk snuggly into his arms- the two obviously whispering into each other's ears.  
  
"Bakura?" Ryou whispered- his silver haired yami ignoring him as he began to nibble on the young woman's ear- she was purring.  
  
"Bakura-chan.." She whispered once again- Emiru moaning lightly. Ryou could feel warm tears streaming down his cheeks.  
  
"How could you..?" He mumbled under his breath- his chest was burning. "How- how could you?" And then instantly- it seemed as if the couple finally noticed him- Ryou's eyes widening but not ending their tears.  
  
"How could I?" Bakura nuzzled the woman's neck. "You were the one who made his possible." The girl giggled. "You wanted us together." Ryou took a step back- it was true. He'd shoved the woman into his yami's arms and now he felt empty and lost. He couldn't deny that his urge to push the woman aside was strong- he wanted her out of the picture to run freely into the man's arms. It was HIS dream.  
  
Then the face of the woman smirked at him, mischievous smile playing curiously across her face, Bakura leaned in again, kissing the neck of the female- Emiru's face flushing a light pink.  
  
"Let him go." The real Ryou whimpered- hand reaching out in an attempt to stop the pair. "Let him go! LET BAKURA, GOOOOOO!"  
  
  
  
Has it ended before it's begun?  
  
You hold on and I try to run but-*  
  
His dark eyes flashed open, tears streaming down his face- he was crying uncontrollably and his entire body was shaking underneath the single cotton sheet. The vivid vision of his dream flashed in his eyes.  
  
'Doshite.? Doshite.?!' He put his head in his hands, weeping silently into them. Ryou's body shook harder in his place in bed- silent night broken only by the whimpers he was chocking back. 'He was. he was holding. her-' His eyebrows contorted in anger at her face of approval and he hated it all.  
  
But his expression of anger and frustration passed- and all he was left with was the empty feeling of regret and loneliness that seemed to be threatening to overwhelm him ever since Bakura and Emiru had begun to see each other. Well. since Emiru had started to be persistent about his yami. Ryou hugged his sheets to his chest, rocking forward and backward in his quiet room- eyes seeming to have glazed over in blinding tears that didn't want to fall.  
  
He was jealous. He was jealous of how simply she talked to Bakura- jealous of the smile that she carried with ease around him- jealous of how she'd been accepted by the yami.  
  
'Why am I like this..?' Acting like a zombie, he slid off his bed, opening the door of his room and slowly making his way into the kitchen. His pale white hands opened the refrigerator and pulled out several containers of leftovers- mashed potatoes, spaghetti, pot pies, roast beef, teriyaki chicken. The same question seemed to repeat in his mind: Why had Bakura betrayed him like that?  
  
He felt empty- he felt alone- he felt as if his dream was reality while everyday life was the illusion. Ryou walked back upstairs- into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Sitting on the tile floor, he spread the containers around him, opening all of them neatly- lid underneath the Tupperware in an organized way. Ryou's internal emptiness not only filled his mind and heart- but it seemed to be bearing deeply into his stomach as well; he started eating it all.  
  
His motions were automatic- he wanted to not feel alone or lonely anymore. Bakura had left him- Bakura had been with someone else- was kissing someone else- Ryou was alone- the food was filling- the food tasted good against his tongue- Bakura hated him- he was starting to dry heave- Bakura was happy- the feeling of the acid burning his throat was strong as he leaned over the toilet bowl.  
  
'He hates me.'  
  
"Ryou!" The sudden surprised tone hurt the young man's ears as he slowly looked up, wiping his bottom lip slowly of excess fluids. Chocolate orbs barred into him- flashes passed in front of the hikari's eyes. The rape- the hospital- the school- Tea screaming at him- explosions. "Ryou, why?!" Bakura yelled; the hikari couldn't see the tears threatening to slide down the yami's face- all he could see was how angry he was.  
  
"Just." Ryou mumbled out, grabbing the container of mashed potatoes. "Just let me! YOU DON'T CARE ANYWAY!"  
  
  
  
*Anybody headin' in my direction- away from the city.  
  
Anybody wanna change the way they feel- step inside.  
  
Doesn't really matter where you wanna take me-  
  
Away from the city.  
  
I wanna start again. I wanna start again.  
  
I wanna take it back- I wanna start again.*  
  
'He hates me even more now.' The young man walked silently through the spring morning on his way to school. The night had ended with Bakura storming into the bathroom, kicking the food containers out of the way and knocking him unconscious with a hit on the side of the head. Ryou really didn't know what happened to him. he'd been dreaming something horrible- he suddenly had to urge to.. Do that again; he hadn't done it ever since Bakura had actually started to remotely care for him. But the feeling had been uncontrollable- and he'd done it to try and make the dream disappear; it only made things worse.  
  
"I'm such an idiot." Ryou mumbled under his breath as his feet carried him slowly to school through the familiar streets. "I wish." He bit him bottom lip- he wished for a lot of things. That he'd never had the dream; that he'd never pushed Emiru into Bakura; that he'd never let Bakura see him getting rid of all that food like that.  
  
It was draining; he wished all of those things so at least he could have the illusion that Bakura was there for him and not angry and upset.  
  
  
  
*Funny how those friends forget you when you tire of their games.  
  
You miss a show or a party that blows- and they've- they've forgotten your name, yeah.*  
  
Ryou could feel the pair of eyes on his back; was Emiru starring at him? The last bell rang and everyone was gathering their things, leaving happily for their lives outside of school.  
  
"Ryou." He looked up to see Emiru standing next to his desk; her face was serious and lacked any form of her usual self.  
  
"Yes?" And pain spread through the flesh of his face- the woman's slap had been completely unexpected. In her eyes was anger and hatred.  
  
"How dare you?! I really liked Bakura and then he dumps me because of you?!" Her castigating tone was scarring the silver- haired young man who sat frozen in his seat.  
  
"Na- nani?" Ryou chocked out, hand going to his red cheek.  
  
"He called me last night and told me that he couldn't see me anymore because he needs to take care of you! I would have normally just let it go- but I really liked him! How could you take him away from me, Ryou?" Tears were wheeling in her eyes, a single tear falling before she turned and ran out.  
  
'WHAT?' He looked down at his desk, trying to hold back his own tears. 'He did that- for me?' His hands were trembling as Ryou slowly gathered his things in the empty class room; apparently events from the night before were going to remain on everyone's mind. He stood up, starring down at his pile of books.  
  
Ever since the rape, things seemed to have skidded to a halt for Ryou. It still amazed him that Bakura no longer hit him and that there were tinges of concern in everything he did, and he seemed to love every minute of it. The way he'd taken care of him and helped him when he couldn't move, couldn't bathe- had barely started to eat normally again. And only now could he fully admit to it: He loved Bakura. It seemed foolish to skip around it for much longer. and Emiru being with him had only made him break down inside. But why had he pushed the two together? The question instantly appeared: he wanted to try and deny the feeling once again. do the same as when Bakura was with Anzu. Love him from afar- but this time it would be different. He didn't have to please his yami with blood and pain, but with human compassion that was actually starting to become mutual between the two.  
  
But Bakura dumped her? It seemed the sinking feeling in his stomach had disappeared and it had been replaced with elation. The cold exterior on his yami wasn't the same. and only now could he be comforted. Yet he still felt any feelings he held had to be hidden.  
  
  
  
*And you wonder what you've become-  
  
They pull me back when you try to run, well-*  
  
Bakura tapped his fingertips against the arm of the couch, music filling the entire house as he sat by himself; the sounds washing over him in its fast pace soothing waves.  
  
He'd finally done it- he'd said "no" to that girl that Ryou had been persistent about. and now all he could concentrate on was his hikari: the young man that he'd finally started to care for, the one who always seemed so distant, the "weak" one, the one he'd caught throwing up on purpose the night before.  
  
The yami sighed, closing his eyes while his fingers tapped faster in the rhythm. He had to push Ryou into unconsciousness because of how lost he was. Bakura could sense the troubles through their mind link- an imbalance. It was the only reason he'd even gotten up at night- the only reason he'd seen been able to see his young light place his face over the toilet in an attempt to "heal" himself. And Bakura had been afraid.  
  
'He's doing it again.?' The thought had flashed instantly in his mind as he starred in horror at the young man gag and release everything he had consumed. Then he'd been defensive and harsh in his reply- it was obvious Ryou wasn't himself in how he'd yelled. so Bakura did what was necessary to control and ultimately benefit his hikari: hit him. But the strike wasn't in anger or held any type of hidden intention. The act of violence had been his response to Ryou's state and how he needed to rest and get well once again. right? His reasons still seemed hazy even in his mind.  
  
Then he'd told the woman that he no longer wanted to see her- and she seemed upset, she let out a whimper of sadness, hung up the phone on him. and Bakura was happy. He didn't have her burden on him and he could think of no other than his hikari.  
  
With his "freedom" restored, Bakura wanted nothing but to hold his other half and cradle him in his arms- telling him that his dream from the night before had been a nightmare and that they could sleep together buried in each other's embrace.  
  
But it shouldn't be on his mind- at least that's what the yami forced himself to think. Ryou was lost and he needed to be found at all costs- and that woman Emiru hadn't helped him get any closer to the one he truly longed for.  
  
  
  
*Anybody headin' in my direction- away from the city.  
  
Anybody wanna change the way they feel- step inside.  
  
Doesn't really matter where you wanna take me-  
  
Away from the city-  
  
I wanna start again. I wanna start again..  
  
I wanna take it back- I wanna start again.*  
  
The yami's eyes followed the thin figure walk in from the front door with a blank look on his face; expressionless features didn't suit him at all. The thin young man walked directly to the stairs- not stopping at all for anything- he just walked up the stairs. Bakura stood silently at the entrance of the living room, arms crossed over his chest, then the door to Ryou's room shut quietly, leaving the yami alone once again.  
  
'He must have heard, then.' Bakura starred at the ground, not moving from his spot. 'I can't take him like this.' Weakness wasn't an issue- it was how much Ryou had managed to pull away. And Bakura blamed himself for all of it.  
  
Ryou had been the center of his attention for the months after the "incident" and now the two spoke almost nothing to each other. His time with the young man was lost from the first time he'd taken the young woman on a date- and Bakura wanted that time back. He didn't care what Ryou would think anymore- he didn't even care what he thought of himself.  
  
He'd seen what Ryou had done to himself, he'd felt the pain from their mind link the night before, he'd felt himself fulfilled whenever he did anything that might aid his hikari in his everyday life. It was the truth- no matter how heinous his intentions had been from the very beginning, he only really felt content and truthfully happy when Ryou was happy. Not happy in that it was fake. but in actual joy and acceptance- like it was alright if the two were together.  
  
Bakura really did want that time back. and he would give up anything to do that. Grabbing a nearby set of car keys, he walked up the stairs to Ryou's closed door, knocking softly.  
  
"Come in." A short reply answered back, Bakura walking in to see Ryou sprawled atop his single-size bed with his chocolate eyes closed in rest.  
  
"Get a sweatshirt and hurry up- we're going for a ride."  
  
  
  
*I left the me I used to be- I wanna see this through.  
  
I left the me I used to be- if only you'd see it too.*  
  
Bakura's eyes starred blankly at the rode ahead of him, his hands gripping the steering wheel lightly, maneuvering with ease through the cars on the highway. Ryou sat next to him, starring out into the countryside. Bakura couldn't help but notice the way Ryou was holding the Millennium Ring tightly around his right hand- almost protectively.  
  
'I wonder if he knows why I'm taking him out here.?' A small smile passed over Bakura's lips, but it quickly faded. 'Can't he see that I care for him? I got rid of that woman so I can concentrate on him.' His dark eyes checked the rear-view mirror and then focused on the road once again. 'I can't back away from Ryou anymore. I've hurt him so much. he's been through so much. and last night?' He heard Ryou sigh. 'I need to bring him back to me. I'm not the same person he thought I'll always be- I love him.'  
  
  
  
*Well I wonder what you've become-  
  
You pull me back when I try to run, well.*  
  
Ryou sighed, his hand holding the Millennium Ring in an attempt to figure his situation out. Where was Bakura taking him? It was somewhere he seemed at ease to go. Bakura didn't seem too nervous- but it was undeniable that he sat unbelievably straight and in concentration.  
  
'He's changed so much.' Ryou's chocolate orbs scanned the open grasslands that seemed to stretch endlessly in all directions. They had been driving for two hours- and it seemed that it would never end. 'I want him to love me.' The thought appeared out of nowhere, but it felt right to him. 'He's changed so much, but I'm scarred.' He bit his bottom lip as his eyes slipped close; he could distinctly smell lavender from Bakura's hair. 'I might never know him like I want to- and he probably hates me after what I've done.'  
  
His hand gripped the ring tighter. 'But even if he still hates me like before- even though he was so nice to me- it'll never change how I feel about him.'  
  
  
  
*Anybody headin' in my direction-  
  
Away from the city.  
  
Anybody wanna change the way they feel- step inside.  
  
Doesn't really matter where you wanna take me-  
  
Away from the city.  
  
I wanna start again. I wanna start again.  
  
I wanna take it back- I wanna start again.*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
[sigh] one more chapter next- "Left of the Middle". The song is actually ALRIGHT. I mean- the tempo is a little blah, but the lyrics are actually sorta nice; I think they reflect both Ryou and Bakura's feelings pretty well. So- please don't get depressed over the next week ((roughly- probably less! I'm wanting to finish this up all ready!)) that I'm writing, just hold tight!  
  
Oh! And thanks to ksya_chan, I have a livejournal account! I MAY put some info relating to my fics in there ((maybe- probably- a little here and there)) so if you have any questions that you'd like answered- or have input for future fics or anything, leave me a comment- or e-mail me or something! ((I prefer e-mailing for fan fic suggestions and all!)) Anyway:  
  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/fy_sanctuary 


	12. Left of the Middle

Ah… the final chapter- what can I say? I liked this story- for the most part ^_~. There were some tough points- and there were some pretty fun chapters to write as well- but I guess I liked it overall. So- knowing this story is at a "conclusion" is sorta depressing- but there is plenty of true yaoi I wanna write… so this ending opens up a lot of doors ^_^.

Replies!:  


RENEE THE RABID SQUIRREL: Tear worthy? Huh? [laughs]  


DARK LADY SETSUNA: It better be long? Well- it's sorta long. And it's not the end… just read the general note later on- and um… there's also "Just Let Me Be in Love"… so it's not the END.  


ANI-COOLGIRL: Kizzu? Guess you'll be pleased.  


PRINCESS STRAWBERRY: A Yami/Yuugi story? I've been thinking about it… they're not my personal fav- but I've been thinking about it. The two seem like masochists- and I tend to like that sorta thing… so the chances are high- just keep an eye out on my stories!  


XING@FANFICTION.NET: You hate me? [sniffles] don't say mean things like thaaaat! And yeah- the songs are mostly pretty good…  


FLUFFCAT: Plot development? ^_~. I like the wording right there! You signed up for Malik-mail? Well- just e-mail the webmaster account if you're having any problems… I'm thinking about changing the logo- but I'm not sure if I can color my chibi picture on the computer that well…!  


RYOUBAKURAFAN013: You want the story to go on forever? Don't say that! Everything has to come to a conclusion...! Yes- Ryou doing the thing that he did before… Well- I couldn't just drop that completely from the picture, ya know? I mean- it happened- he stopped for a while- but I guess it could be related to stress? Bulimia is a mental illness and all and Ryou never got really treated… And 3x4? I've decided to please you- I've written the first part of the story you suggested, so check my profile to read it. I think its very short- it's the first part after all- but hopefully it'll please your GW fan fiction appetite, k? Don't worry- I'll make it a good shonen ai, just for you! Gosh… everyone hated Emiru… she wasn't meant to be hated! ((besides- if she ever shows up again, I'll try and make her so that she's not buggin' anyone…!)) And yeah- I understand about your end "dilemma" and stuff- I feel that way sometimes about really good fics… but don't worry- I'll keep writing YGO fics as well as a few GW ones and everything ((And since I finished watching Ayashi no Ceres [sniffles] I'll write some of those too- I think you'd probably like that show))  


YAMI BAKURA KIA: Lol- you're a big crossover fan, ne? But yeah- I understand what you're saying about the C-Genomes… it sucks what they do at the end… [cries]   


ALYIA: There's all ready a sequel up, ya know? I sorta wrote it at the same time… but I haven't updated it in a while! . I need to use yaoi in digression!   


FIREDRAGON97: Yey! At least you were one of the people who didn't HATE her!  


Alright- here's the last chapter; please be nice in your reviews! It's very toned down because of the nature of the song- but I think it's a good ending for a shonen ai story. The story SORTA continues in "Just Let Me Be in Love"- as a Ryou/Bakura/Jounouchi fic- but if you don't like that threesome- deal, then it ends… here.   


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Gi Oh!- or the rights to the CD "Left of the Middle" by Natilie Imbruglia- because if I owned the two of them, Yu Gi Oh would have a lot of yaoi, and Natilie's CD would have a lot more tracks to please Ryoubakurafan013! ^_~.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
*…*: song lyrics   '…': thoughts  


Left of the Middle: "Left of the Middle"  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  


*End of the third round  
As I put the phone down  
Chasin' the same lines-  
Over the old ground*  


Bakura's dark eyes continued to follow the road in front of them; Ryou had fallen asleep an hour before and was now curled in his seat- sweater off and covering his chest and thin shoulders. He listened to the ringing tone on the end of the cell phone he had pressed against his left ear.   


"Moshi moshi?" A teenage voice answered.  


"Malik- you remember the proposal you gave me?"  


"Um-", there was a pause.  "Oh, yeah. What about it?"  


"Ryou and I are on the road- I need you to make sure it's fine we go."  


"How long until you get there?" Bakura's eyes shifted to the young man who shifted lightly before yawning and slipping further into his dream state.  


"About another hour."  


"Damn- you must have been driving for a while now, huh? But yeah- I'll make sure it's cool. Good luck, Bakura. Ja."  


"Ja." He clicked the pale blue cell phone off, setting it on his lap as he switched lanes to move from behind a slow moving old woman who seemed to have a problem with her brake lights.   


'I guess this is it.' He bit his bottom lip gingerly in a pensive sort of way. 'I guess this is when I have to stop being a coward and actually do something…' The familiar feeling of train of thought was wanting to return- the familiar questions of why?- would it work?- did he want him?- was it fair?- all of them were about to be replayed in his mind. And when they were finished being answered, he'd be no further in trying to decide what to do. But- he knew it was time.  


*I'm pushin' zero-  
Where is my hero?  
He's out there somewhere-   
Left of the Middle*

He sat alone and quiet in the white room- the marble on the ground felt slightly cold to him, but Ryou didn't move. His soul room was unbelievably quiet, but he didn't mind. He knew he was asleep in the real world- but for now he could at least think about his "crimes."  


Bakura was taking him somewhere- and Ryou wasn't worried. If anything, he felt he was in good hands. But that still didn't take the internal want to have the yami there with him go away. He wanted arms to wrap around him there and say that the breakup with Emiru had been only for him- and that he'd be able to rest against his yami's protective chest.  


Ryou sighed- at least he could imagine that in his soul room… and he could fantasize about Bakura's kindness meaning something… The hikari smiled lightly, bringing his knees to his chest and hugging his legs. He would always have that part of his mind where all his shonen ai thoughts could be stored and where Bakura was the only one.  


*And your world falls down-  
And you're there callin' out…  
But it's something I can't say….  
Though it seems the only way.  
But it's a game that I can't play…  
Not today.*  


He had to recall all of it. All the events in the past year seemed to have gone on an eternity. His light had gone through so much- did Bakura have a right to be selfish?  


It had started with the beatings… the endless beatings that only ever resulted in his other half being painted in bruises that remained on his flesh for weeks. And all the while… all the while the hikari had cut himself- starved himself… all in an attempt at easing the pain and finding some inner salvation. It had all been because of Bakura's selfishness… and the fact that he'd been a coward and didn't know how to act or express himself…  


Bakura blamed himself for all of it- he was the root of everything his hikari went through. Ryou had finally had enough- he was trying to protect himself and what was left of his abused body- and Bakura had left. He'd left the young man without protection- he'd left him for a woman who had nothing but her selfish wants in mind. And because he'd left…  


Tears were starting to brim at the yami's eyes- tears of anger more than anything else. He was chocking back all he could- but self loathing was inevitable. He hadn't been there to stop the men who had made his other half feel tainted… Yet Bakura could only really see Ryou as pure…  


But he'd tried- he'd tried his hardest to change for Ryou. And… he felt Ryou trusted him at last… at least a little… Bakura couldn't understand it though… he'd left Ryou vulnerable and he hated himself. But… it wasn't the time for that. He might feel that any positive feelings in return he didn't deserve… but it was the only way he would able to finally forgive himself for everything he'd done. Ryou had somehow taken it all with dignity- he'd asked for help- and now it was Bakura's turn to respond.  


*I got my ticket-  
And I got a straight road.  
But I'm passin' the same signs-  
Over and over.*  


The two stepped out into the crisp spring air- Bakura had been driving all of the night; Ryou was starting to get slightly worried about school that morning- he knew he wouldn't go and he had tests to worry about.   


The yami sighed, suddenly walking from the car- and after a few paces, he looked back at his hikari who was watching a little in confusion.   


"C'mon, Ryou." Bakura said in a slightly more demanding tone than he wanted- but the hikari didn't seem to notice because the two were soon walking across a pasture where green fields stretched in all directions.   


'There's no turning back now…' Bakura shoved his hands in to his pants pockets; the sky was starting to slowly light- but it was nothing in comparison to what it would look like at sunrise. He quickened his pace, Ryou doing the same. The two would have to hurry if everything was to work as he wanted.   


It was somehow still irresistible- turning back and going into the car- driving back to Domino and nothing would have happened, but Ryou was starting to give him odd looks. Old memories of him were making striking Ryou across the face a curiosity- almost as if they were testing him to see if he really had changed.  


But he had- and he was determined to prove it.  


*And my world falls down-  
And I'm there callin' out-  
But it's something I can't say…  
Though it seems the only way.  
But it's a game that I can't play…  
Not today.*  


As they neared a rising pasture, Ryou noticed that he couldn't look beyond it- and Bakura had stopped. Ryou did the same, looking around once again. The solitary moment was comforting to the young man- they had walked for over 20 minutes- over other hills as well- and now they were standing near the edge of a valley that looked- plain yet extremely soothing; there was a light breeze sending the smell into his nostrils.   


Ryou pushed a strand of his silver locks over his ear as his gaze fell to Bakura who seemed thoughtful. The yami turned- his expression unreadable.   


"Don't say a word, Ryou." Bakura spoke softly, pulling a white handkerchief from his back pocket which he folded into a blindfold. Walking to the hikari, he fastened it around his head, stopping all vision completely.   


"Bak-" Ryou started- but he felt a finger press softly against his lips for silence. The finger disappeared, and the hikari could hear the steps of his yami walking away.  


"Follow me, Ryou." The yami's voice sounded distant- but Ryou followed nonetheless. His body could feel the incline as he made his way up the hill that had stopped his vision before.  


'Please, Bakura…' He whispered internally. 'Don't be mad at me… I love you… don't leave me in the dark like this…' He felt a hand on his shoulder- apparently the top of the hill. 'Bakura- please let me see you… I want to see your face… I want to hear you tell me you're not mad…' The other male started leading him slowly down the hill; Ryou could distinctly smell the scent of flowers. It was therapeutic to some extent, calming his pleas.   


He felt a pressure in the middle of his back, pushing him forward through the now flat land; the pasture felt sort of… fluffy. Ryou didn't mind though- he felt Bakura close to him… but he felt lonely.  


*And my world falls down-

And you're there callin' out…

But it's something I can't say-

Though it seems the only way.

And it's a game that I can't play-

Not today…*

Bakura stopped in his tracks, Ryou accidentally taking a step forward. The yami had stopped because they were in the center of it all- and now it was the final decision. The hikari turned in his spot, facing him- and Bakura could only stare at the small, blindfolded young man who's silver locks contrasted with the purple and pink sky- and the sakura trees around him. The yami closed his eyes; he was almost unaware that he had slipped their mental link open; his thoughts and emotions now threatening to be exposed to the two. 

Bakura knew that his world had always been hanging on a thread… his feelings barely being held back by his stubborn pride. And all the while his hikari had been there- following him patiently and taking all of his anger and violence without a second thought. And Ryou… had been hurting himself… and the yami cared- and he needed to know that Ryou could always trust him no matter what- that their bond was much more than yami and hikari- but in the deepest parts of their heart as well. 

Not only was the yami unaware of the open mind link- but of also the clear crystals falling from his chocolate eyes, sliding down his cheeks in beads that reflected the purple inked sky. 

'I… Ryou, I…' Bakura pleaded mentally- wishing his hikari could hear him- and not laugh in his face. 

But Ryou wasn't laughing- he could feel the warmth from his other half just as strongly as he could feel the warmth from the rising sun against his back. 

'Ryou… I…I want to be with you… I don't want you to hurt yourself… anymore… please- don't…' Bakura continued; he was still unaware of the attentive teenager in front of him. '…I'll do anything- anything to see you happy… Anzu- Emiru… they're nothing compared to you… they aren't you… I only want you…' His knees went weak beneath him and he fell to the ground, wrapping his arms around his body. It seemed as if for the millionth time during the trip he would relive the past events of the year internally. 'It was all because of me… you did it because of me… I'm… I'm horrible… hikari… I promise- I won't let you ever be in pain… because…-'

The movement above him almost startled Bakura who's tears were falling freely from his closed eyes. He hadn't noticed Ryou had been crying as well- and now Bakura could see he was pulling a tearstained blindfold off his head, dropping the cloth by his side. A soft breeze passed by the two, pushing the hikari's hair over his shoulders, cherry blossoms falling around him in the wind. 

"I won't let you be in pain because of me, Bakura…" Ryou whispered, a small smile starting to play upon his lips, his deep chocolate orbs glistening. "I won't let you be in pain because…-"The yami stood slowly, pushing a strand of silver hair away from the young man's face- the way he did when the hikari slept… when it was alright. 

Closing the gap between them, Bakura took Ryou's hand in his, entwining their slender fingers together. The two young men's hearts were beating painfully loud- they could hear their echoes from each other's minds. Ryou was unafraid- he'd forgiven everything Bakura blamed himself for; Bakura was lost- in what his heart wanted to do and in what his mind was commanding.

*I need to tell you-  
Trying to get through…  
It's not always easy… Left of the Middle…*  


It was almost as if he couldn't breathe- looking at Ryou who was smiling up at him, beads of tears streaming down his delicate face. His hikari was waiting for him…   


The tears running down Bakura's solemn face seemed to increase as he slowly leaned forward- almost shyly- and took Ryou's velvet lips into a soft kiss that the hikari didn't object to. Ryou felt the compassion he'd always craved and Bakura felt the forgiveness that had always seemed so distant- all within the kiss that seemed to infuse their feelings into one.  


'I won't let you be in pain because… I love you…'

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Alright- I've decided that if I get enough requests, I'll write another part to this particular fic… it'll be NC-17 and everything- and it won't be hosted on fanfiction.net, but on my website. IF I get enough requests, I'll insert another chapter at the end of this story with replies to any reviews I get- and also to provide the link to where I have the next part… 

But- Thank you for reading "Left of the Middle"! [blows kisses to all her readers] Hope you enjoyed it!


	13. For the Fans

KONNICHIWA, MINNA! ^_^. Yes- you all hate me for not updating this sooner, ne? ((j.k! please don't hate me!)) Anyway- as I promised- replies to responces... and um... the link for "Somewhere I Belong" along with a general note is at the end. Anyway- replies!:  
  
TWILIGHT HUNTER & PANDORA: Yeah- the fic would still be fine without a lemon... I haven't counted- but I'd have to say over 75% of the people who reviewed the last chapter of the story wanted a lemon- soooo.... can't disappoint the fans!  
  
DARK LADY SETSUNA: Self control? [chuckles] And don't worry about feeling dirty for asking for an NC-17 part- we all get the urge [winks and suddenly hears the Herbal Essence commercial songs] "She's got the urge- natural botanicals- she's got the urge... to herbal!" O.o [smacks all the singers with a stick] URUSAI!  
  
K.T: O.O thanks.  
  
RENEE THE RABID SQUIRREL: Hey- I had my doubts, ya know? Besides- if I HADN'T had said that I was thinking about it, someone would have hounded me begging for one! [cries] it's not cool, dude!  
  
ANGELBAKURAISHTAR45: Ah... imaging the sakura scene... [sniff] yeah- I can imagine it perfectly too! [wipes away a happy tear]  
  
BEVERLY: Hai- accidental admittance situations are THE BEST- leaves you all warm and flattered inside- even if you're not even the character... [giggle]  
  
BRIT-CHAN: Yeah- a few tear worthy scenes- but a few comical ones? Huh? I hadn't intended there to be funny parts... but hey- if it works for you, then it's all good! And Natalie's CD is pretty good- I always liked it too- I never was a big fan of her's though... It was just... nice. Besides- I have to give it props for serving as the base to "LotM", ya know? So- thanks, Natalie! And... [looks at the box of Pocky] SUGOI!  
  
BROKEN ANGEL: Um... my website address is in my profile...? [hands her a bumper sticker reading: I AM A RABID SHONEN AI FAN]  
  
LITTLESTKITTEN: Ah... I really need to fix that picture... it's driving me nuts, I swear... but um- I'm glad you're happy with what I did with it, I guess!  
  
RYOUBAKURAFAN013: [stares] you cried? Ne? [hands her a tissue] was it that emotional? [eyes water] arigatou.... But um... [wipes face] knowing what the characters are thinking is always a plus- I wish more authors did that sometimes... And yeah- a 3-some. Which I'm not sure how I'm gonna update... I have A LOT of ideas- but the hard part is deciding in what order they'll happen. Hmph- maybe I should make it one of those fics that leave you all thoughtful and stumped... sounds like a plan to me! But you're on a writers block? [shakes her] DEVILS- COME OUT! ((and thanks so much, rbf! You're one of my favorite reviewers cuz you tell me straight forward and don't sugar coat what you've gotta say! [huggles] domo arigatou gozaimasu!))  
  
MIRAKI AND YAMI MIRAKI: The NC-17 is a nice ending? Well- it took a long time to write... [sigh] but it's done and so yeah- hope you like ^_~.  
  
SAILLE OF LAGUZ: Well- here's your notice to read the last chapter!  
  
NKOAH: kirei? [scratches head] you'll have to educate me on that word! ^_^. Um... I didn't go that descriptive on the Anzu and Bakura scene did I...? [thinks] oh wait- well- maybe I did...! Gomen! And yeah- that lab rat deal makes sense- at least you're asserting your right to hate Anzu!  
  
REIN-KUN: Ne? You're sending more people to read this? [hides her head]  
  
INVADER ZIM FAN 23: [bows] arigatou!  
  
MYSTICALGAL: [stares] 5 HOURS? [pats mysticalgal on the back] jeeze... well- I can't say "jeeze" without being hypocritical- I've stayed up "just 30 more minutes!" on fics before. I swear- they're like a drug! [glances at Ryou and Bakura] don't worry- there's still "Just Let Me Be in Love"- and whatever other YGO stories I decide to write!  
  
ANIME_STARWIND: [chuckles] what's with all these people crying? Hehehehe....  
  
MAYTEL: Well... yeah! ^_~.  
  
GENERAL: Yeah- took me almost 2 months to update this... I wasn't exactly in the mood to write an NC-17... put it off- put it off- I'm gonna do it tomorrow, I swear- put it off- and then ryoubakurafan013 reminded me of it in one of her reviews... and I decided to get my butt into gear and do it! Granted, it took me nearly 3 days considering how much I re-read the whole thing trying to make it as... mushy- but NOT mushy and stuff. So the end result: mushy. I couldn't help it considering it was Ryou and Bakura's first time together! But no need to fret- I think J/B/R will probably be a lot kinkier than this chapter... ((ack- what am I saying?! [smacks self]))  
  
Anyway- you guys all know the link to my site- but yeah- here goes again:  
  
www.geocities.com/quatre_kun86  
  
Once you have the pop up window, click "Fan Fiction Edits" and it's there. Hope it's alright! [prays] And yeah- thanks again for reading this fic!  
  
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